old lady dental work

i just got back from the dentist. i had to get old lady stuff done to my teeth. i had to get a crown. i've never had a crown before and while i'm usually not frightened of the dentist and what they do to your mouth (even tho it seems really archaic to me) i was really nervous.

i really like my dentist but today was just a mess. i was all scared-ish and was asking all these questions about what he's gonna do. to make matters worse. it was my last tooth on my top right and apparently that is one of the most difficult areas to work on. i was tilted so far back in the chair that i was practically upside down! i felt like i was gonna slide off and while i was laying there and he was addressing my concerns i started to get really naseous and hot. finally i was like, um, can i sit up?

one thing that is weird about california dentists is they don't have that spit sink on the left. they have NO sink. instead they just spray water in your mouth and then suck it up with a tube whenever you need to rinse. that just freaks me out. i hate the tube! sometimes having that thing in my mouth drying it out is ten times worse than the procedure that i am there for. the first couple a times the assistant rinsed me, i nearly drown! i really think they should TELL you when they're gonna spray water in your mouth so you can mentally and physically prepare.

so here i am, inverted, getting my little tooth shaved off (so sad..i said goodbye to it) with a dril that spews water AND getting water sprayed into my mouth and becasue i was so far back it was really hard to breathe and keep my throat closed and i could feel a little trickle of water going down my throat and all this stuff was going on and i had a fucking full-on panic attack. can you beleive that? i literally started waving may hand and crying my eyes out and the more i was zoning in on trying not to drown the worse it became. it was so scary. the dentist finally stopped and let me sit up but it seemed like he was kinda agitated that i needed a minute. i finally got it under control and he resumed.

when he was done he says, wow! that was a real challange. i asked him why and he says: what with having to stop now and again so that you could swallow and be comfortable.
uh.
yeah.
nice.
i just get really emotional about my teeth. i mean, i do all i can. brushing, flossing, night guard, ACT and my teeth are still crappy and it makes me really sad that every time i go to the dentist i have a new cavity. it just sucks. now i need a crown? and because i have clenching and grinding issues, which makes me crack fillings all the time (the reason why i need this crown is because the tooth had been filled so many times due to my cracking the filling every 6 months that there was just no more tooth) i can't get a porcelain crown. i have to get a GOLD crown. i'm gonna have a. gold. tooth. i've been thinking of my rap name all day.

so in memory of my little tooth and because i'm afraid to chew anything, i'm embarking on a spring-time detox.

ugh, the novacaine just wore off.