Some Things NOT to do at Christmas...

...as observed by your out of town daughter/niece/cousin/granddaughter...

1) Don't tell your Jewish optometrist, Happy CH-annukah (That's channukah with a "CH" like in CHEESE) as a joke because that's the way you say it with your family.

2) Don't crack Arab jokes at the Christmas table and then say, "oh we probably shouldn't say anything because of her boyfriend."

3)After you find out the boyfriend is Egyptian, don't ask if he does that walk.

4)Don't go see Narnia on winter break during a matinee.

5) Don't say, "well, you'll probalby never have kids then..." just because she is rolling her eyes at some rowdy brats in a theatre and making you move to several new seats to avoid them.

6)Don't say, "Next year at this time, if you're not married, we should go to..."

7)And then when your daughter just stares at you, don't say, "Well..it COULD happen."

8)Don't stab a relative in the back with a searing comment behind their back and then be sweet and nice to their face..in FRONT of a witness.

9)Don't be lazy and/or on welfare and/or not motivated to make a living and then complain that the prosperous relative won't give you that third leased vehicle, extra TV or computer. HE WORKED FOR IT!

10) Don't crack jokes that make fun of everyone and then be too simple minded to not understand a double entendre, under the radar joke, or blatant sarcastic remark. (oh wait, maybe you SHOULD be that way.)

...well. At least they vote democrat.