Glamorizing Life
Do you know sometimes when you're totally disappointed about a relationship ending and you're totally keeping it together and then one day you're driving home in your car and then you're sobbing? You know how that happens?
Yeah.
It was this song, which I interpret as a person giving someone every part of them and the person rejecting them. Awesome. Then of course I have to listen the rest of the CD which just breaks my heart anyways.
That's fun. And mildly ironic since Cloud Cult did the honors of reminding me about my broken heart/dreams/etc, because I saw the band with Carlo and it was probalby the most happiest I was with him, at that show.
So I arrived at the pool a blubbering mess and swamswamswam. I managed 1.5 miles in 36 minutes and that is a personal record for me.
I was IMing with my awesome co-worker BW, the only one who talks to me at my job, and was saying that I might, unexpectedly, go camping this weekend:
HA: dude, i might go CAMPING this weekend
BW: I HATE camping!
HA: me too!
BW: What?!?! Why are going then?
HA: because i glamorize it when i am sitting at my desk and then i get there and am like what the hell?!?
BW: Girly, you glamorize life. That's why you're always disappointed.
(sigh)
Actually, I don't mind camping so much as long as there is booze and food...and maybe a toilet. I just really feel the need to get out of the city this weekend away from the flurry of dodgeball texts that just serve to remind me how lame my social life is because, when I receive them, I am laying on my couch watching So You Think You Can Dance.
So, I am kinda shocked that BW might be right. Maybe I do glamorize life? Maybe that's why I am never happy/fulfilled/settled etc? That BW, she is so Buddha sometimes. She's like my personal daily reflection calendar.
Of course this is my other IM conversation I am having today:
HA: do you have any molly hatchet?
bagelradio: do you order steak at vegetarian restaurants?
HA: yuh ok BOB DYLAN
bagelradio: if we asked all of the bands i play for influences i guarantee that many more would cite mr. zimmerman than mr. hatchet
HA: there is nothing wrong with molly hatchet
8 Comments:
I wouldn't sweat it Hez, I think you are totally kayoot. More Bike pics pleaze
I know that feeling.
Just replace driving with riding public transit and we'll be feeling each other sista. But funny enough it's happened more with relationships that are non-existent (the ones where you're forever stricken with the label of "platonic" friend forever and ever and nothing more). What the hell man.
Anyway, we can't all help but to glamourize life. Human beings are built to always want more (especially in the world of mass consumerism that we live in today) and we have all have that little world in our head that we want our lives to be. But once you strip away all that shit and get down to what's real (and this is the hardest part), we see what we need to make us happy (and I bet more times than not, it's not what we think we want).
Lina
P.S. Those song lyrics were super sad. :( But what makes life beautiful is that someone can feel so much for a person (even if they're cowardly cocksucker motherfuckers). :)
P.P.S. Check out Sufjan Stevens, "To Be Alone With You." Simple song, but always stabs me where I hurt the most.
I agree with Lina, totally normal to glamorize life, but the good news is I can virtually guarnantee that the man who shall remain nameless (the one who's name begins with a C and ends with an S) has been hurt the same way and will continue to be hurt and hurt. Don't let one bad fruit spoil the bunch, if he doesn't have the balls to be a decent human being than he's so NOT worth the expenditure of your energy. Something similar happened to me recently, it takes time, but you do move one, swear! Just keep putting one foot infront of the other! You go girl!
I have to admit, when you have low/no expectations, it's harder to be dissapointed. However, I think the important thing is to just get out and do different things, because you already know what is most likely going to happen if stay home and watch So You Think You Can Dance. Perceptions are funny that way. You can take photos of yourself doing mundane shit and make it look cool by throwing in a few people with Mark The Cobrasnake haircuts, and all of the sudden everybody thinks, "WOOOAH HEZ IS L-I-V-I-N", while you think to yourself "HA HA, PSYCHE!!!"
I just got me some some UFO. You should have some too. Nootch, Hez.
if we didn't glamorize life then we'd all be jumping off the highest bridge. so, "do you think you can dance?"
firstly, im happy to learn that someone i like and respect also hates camping. yay!
secondly, i think you should post dodgeball messages every weekend inviting people to stay home and do nothing. that would be hilarious and totally subversive... hot!
Everyone knows I'm the king of crying in your car, so I'm with ya there.
"So You Think You Can Dance" is the shiznet. If watching Benji twist it up is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
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