Hez Gets A Half Day

When I'm in my office, I don't get cell reception. So when I left for lunch today and went to my car, my phone said I had four messages. Whoa! I listen to the first message and can't even tell if the message is being left in English and figure it's a wrong number. I skip that message and go to the second message and can't understand that one either but realize it's the same guy. By the time I get to the third message, it's incomprehensible but gives me clues to realize that some words I heard in the first message were "black," "cat," "park," and my street. At this point I start to get nervous.

Ben Ben is an outdoor cat and every morning he goes outside when I leave. He wears an ID tag with my phone number on it as well the number of his "real" owner, Anita. Obviously, someone has seen his ID tag.

I call my landlady to see if she is home and can check if Ben is around. No answer. I call my front neighbor and she isn't home either. I call my nextdoor neightbor and he doesn't answer. I go back and listen to the first message and realize that it IS in English and also that the message leaver sounds drunk.

The message says: "I have a black cat at the park on the corner of [my street] and if you want it come and get it."

Oh God.

(You may know that at the corner of my block is a park that has a reputation for drugs, drunkards and thugs. I refer to this park as "crack park.")

That could mean anything! Ben doesn't really venture that far down the block but what if he got hit by a car and ended up down there? Bums/drunkards do hang on my front steps sometimes and what if they kidnapped him and are setting me up!?!? What if they are hurting him in some way?

I call 911 and, after I tell my story, the woman who answers tells me that this line is for emergencies. Hi? This IS an emergency! I ask her if they can send a car down to the park to look for people harrassing or holding a cat, or even to look for a dead cat. She tells me that there is nothing they can do because they have no one to ID the cat and that I should call a friend or family member. [insert blinky-eyed look here] UH DUH! Like I didn't think of that. And I start talkig loudly in an incredulous tone. She tells me that she can hear me fine and that I don't have to yell and says, that I should go home to look for that cat and I said: NO SHIT! but I am 30 miles away! Then she tells me that she doesn't appreciate me being abusive and I just say: Oh Hell, and hang up. Sigh.

I head home not even knowing what to expect, but I plan to drive by my house to see if Ben is on the front steps and if he isn't, then I'll swing by the park and see if there are any cats hanging from trees by their necks. Ugh. Melodramatic, and possibly a drunk-guy prank, but the guy called FOUR TIMES...I don't even know what my next step is if I can't find him at home.

I get home and no Ben on the steps. I swing by crack park and there are so many bag lady guys with shopping carts that Ben could be anywhere! I go back home and go inside. I look out the back window and there is my Ben sleeping on the deck. When I open the door he looks up and blinks a few times as if to say, why are you home so early? He stands up to greet me and he looks fine but has something on his tail and lower back. It looks like something got on him and it matted his fur and made it sticky. :(

He seems ok though and is sleeping at my feet right now. Phew!