What a shithead I am! What a Fucking Adolescent!

Everyday I have been typing up a page or two from my Metal Diairies and every day I am laughing hysterically at my 14 year old self and am, also, incredibly humbled.

It seems I haven't much changed in 20+ years. Some of the things I am noticing is that my writing style is somewhat similar, I am still invisible to men, I still have unrequited crushes, I still don't want to dress like a girl, I (am sometimes) still sexually aggressive towards men, I still have a negative reel in my head (though, now, I can sometimes block it out) and I still suffer from mild depression.

I am happy to report that, at 14, I was a funny, smart girl -- I would think only a smart one would recognize the silliness of what she was doing/saying/acting and exclaim, "What a fucking adolescent!" I (enviously) wrote every day in my journal...even if it was to some rockstar, I was doing stream of consciousness before I knew what it was, I had diverse musical tastes, AND I knowingly listened to The Smiths.

Daily I am being reminded of what life was at 14 and how my dreams haven't changed much. Though I have not yet reached some of them, I know they are still possible.

Metalocalypse
I haven't talked about this yet, but please, get thee to The Cartoon Network and tune into Metalocalypse. Words cannot describe the brilliance of this show. I accidentally ran across a marathon on New Years Eve and was immediately hooked. Check out the wiki info.

The O.S.K. Report
When I decided to take in a stray cat, it never occurred to me that he might not want to be taken in. Since O.S.K. had his trip to the vet it's been slow going. He much prefers to be outside and after a few weeks was able to spend 2-4 hours in the house when I get home from work. He is still attention starved and cannot get enough loving. The good news is he is not drooling as much anymore (eew). I have been trying to get him to come in at night because it just breaks my heart when I wake up and I go to my deck to feed him and he is sleeping under my grill in the cold. Saturday night was a breakthrough when I got home late from being out and after I got into bed I heard him scratching at the door. I opened the door and he zipped right in! That was a first. Usually I am coaxing him in with treats or picking him up. He spent the whole night on my bed. He cannot get close enough and if that means laying in my face or on it than so be it.