cardiodancing and the mini party

let me just start off by saying, i was watching that show 30 Days and then episode was about binge drinking. the mom was going to binge drink for 30 days to show to her binge-drinking-college-daughter how debilitating it is. by the way, they define binge drinking as drinking 4 or more drinks in a 2 hour period.

uh, that sounds like my typical night out.

on friday jojo and i rallied and went cardiodancing. we invented cardiodancing as a way to keep up with our gym routine on the weekend. we'll go to a club and dance for 2-3 hours straight. friday we went to Badlands to prep (where the bartender bought us a shot of Sour Apple Pucker. i think they should call it sour apple puker. hahaha! then we moved to the Cafe to get our cardiodancing on. the club was pretty empty at around 10:30, but that's perfect because then we have lots of room to show off our moves and warm up. the floor filled pretty fast and the burning of the lunch calories began.

now, i enjoy dancing at gay men's dance clubs and i really don't mind being pushed around like a piece of furniture because i am there to dance. not get hit on. needless to say, i found myself in the middle of a man sandwich several times through-out the night and pleaded to the closest gay boy to me to be saved. at one point as i was being bucked back and forth between these two men i just looked at one of them and said, aren't you supposed to be gay? stop!

afterwards we went to the bagdad cafe to replenish and i had a yummy turkey club.
cardiodancing photos are here.

saturday i laid on my couch the whole day and watched some silly movies such as Daddy Day Care. it wasn't half bad! i finally rallied and got off the couch to go and buy some brownie mix and limes for willo's party later that night. i got to willo's a little bit before 7pm and helped her get things ready. peeps started to arrive, the margarita's were flowing and the taco bar was ready to go! eight hours later i was passed out on willo's bed. hahaha! lucky for me i got to stay over.

there were so many great people there last night. i really enjoyed talking to taylor (who is an amazing artist!) for awhile now i have been "procrastinating" in making some more bags and trying to sell them. i start to get really anxious about my designs and what i am doing and how they probably aren't as great as someone elses bags. and i think it was darren who said it, but holy crap! there is something called "fear of success." i think that is what i have!

Fear of success is the:
Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content, or satisfied once you reach your goal.
Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes.
Opposite of fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes and losing approval. Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored.
Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life.
Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime.
Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accomplish, it will never be enough to sustain success.
Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record.
Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment.
Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade.
Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments; that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.

but with talking to taylor and darren, it seems that everyone gets it! and at that point i was like, fear of success is stupid! i am so getting my ass in gear! (uh as soon as i am no longer hungover) i really don't want to go back to a job and feel like i didn't do all i could do during my time off. that i wasted it. (tho i have also heard from some people that no matter how much you do, you always feel like you coulda done more when you are back sitting at a desk).

so if you see me ask me how many bags i made that week. hopefully if enough people ask me i'll start to feel guilty. heh.

photos of willo's party are here.

where did this come from?

i was driving back from the gym one day this week and was behind this car. i've never seen it before, heck, i've never even heard of it! i kept looking and relooking at the back of the car where the "phaeton" was to make sure i was seeing the right thing. it looked like this.



hey. wait a minute.

isn't phaeton the alien parts that are, according to scientology, left behind in our bodies? oh, that's thetan. hmmm.

well tonight i am going cardiodancing with jojo. we invented cardiodancing. we go out to some danceclubs and dance for two to three hours straight and consider it part of our workout. time to get ready!

popstrology

in my new yorker today was an article about this guy, Ian Van Tuyl, who invented the study of and wrote a book on POPSTROLOGY. on the website popstrology is defined as "The science of the pop stars -- A revolutionary method for gaining self-knowledge by examining the alignment of the pop music charts at the moment of your birth."

this is right up my alley!

the guy has also invented new constellations. some examples are, "reganrock, " mustache rock"(i sure hope ajax was born under that sign), and "teen idol."

so i looked up my birthstar birthsong, which you can do on the website. i nearly died when i got my result. my birthsong is "Let It Be" by the Beatles. now, for all of you who know me, that could not be more perfect. my birthsong made sense, but does it make sense for others? i took the liberty of looking up misty's* birthsong. her's is "Honky Tonk Women" by the Stones. uh, so dead on. then i looked up willo*. she came up as "Love Will Keep Us Together" by Captain and Tenille. YES!

so i am a "Let It Be" but my year was dominated by the Jackson 5! here is what they say about the Jackson 5 year. no wonder i am floundering.






*i think i got their year/birthdates right

i've created a monster: part II

oh that eduardo. this was at 6am, btw.

angel island photos

pictures

monday's not as bad as it used to be

wow! i've been "retired" for almost THREE monts now! that went fast. i can't tell you how awesome it is when it's sunday night and i'm watching Six Feet Under (the show ROCKED last night) and thinking about doing laundry and realizing that its almost 10pm and realizing...hey! i don't have to stress about anything because i don't have to GO anywhere tomorrow!

i'm happy to say that i still get up between 6am and 8am and go to the gym. i decided to totally amp up my workout routine since i have all this time. my detox lost me about 5-6 pounds and i am maintaining a vegetarian diet for a little bit to hopefully sustain the weightloss. i'm afraid my system isn't ready to process meat yet. well i have no idea if it is but the thought of eating an animal right now is not appealing, neither is dairy. wow! that is so interesting that i have no appetite for that stuff. i also had my first diet coke today since last monday and it's weird. it tastes funny to me and i don't even want it, its also too sweet tasting.

saturday - angel island

on saturday willo picked me up with lulu and mat and we all headed over to pier 41 to catch the ferry to angel island for lucia's 3rd bay anniversary. i have been DYING to go there ever since i saw on one of those SF magazie TV shows that you can take a ferry there and have a picnic. that sounds so fun!

we met up with some peeps on the boat and off we went. it totaly rocked! it was so warm out and almost perfect for a day of hiking and beaching and stuff.

here is a view during our hike.

i am definitely going back there especially since you can CAMP on the island. i know, lot's of you are thinking hez does not camp. it's true, i'm not a huge fan of it but, there is something appealing about taking a ferry to the campground. and i am having longings of just a bunch of us pitching tents and getting trashed around a campfire...with BBQ. how fun does that sound? plus you can ride bikes AND go to the beach, my two favorite things.

papers and stuff

so today i am supposed to be writing TWO papers for class tomorrow. this is for the "ignatian seminar" and the text is a book the dalai lama wrote. we're supposed to be contemplating ethics. you know, i dig buddhism and stuff but these books literally take 250 pages to say something that can be explained in one maybe two paragraphs. its like reading in a circle.

anyways, so instead of writing my papers i am blogging and baking bread. nice. see, since i am not working right now my therapist isn't charging me so i keep him "paid" in baked goods. love that! plus, i haven't made bread in awhile and willo's friend, lulu, inspired me.

detoxing and on-line dating

detoxing is hard! i almost caved today. like thirty minutes ago. but instead of eating some yummy food i just made myself another detox drink. i'm doing that uber-fabulous lemonade diet/detox from the 70's. i've done it once before. about a year ago. i lasted SEVEN DAYS without food. i could've gone longer but misty was having a dinner for her dad who was in town and i really wanted to be able to eat.

not eating is boring. i don't know if any of you do this but sometimes, when i'm doing something, like gardening, i envision finishing, taking a shower and then eating awesome food! well, when you don't have awesome food to look forward to, life is just lame.

the first 3 days are really the worst. your body is coming off of caffeine, sugar..um..food and you're miserable! and then after the third day you emerge like some cyber-person who doesn't need food to survive! you start to scoff at people who give in and EAT. you see them as weak minded individuals. ok, well maybe its not that bad but you do get a really different sense about yourself and your body.

on-line dating

on-line dating is hard! i don't even know why i am doing it because my theory is that we are all messed up when it comes to dating and the people (men) on the sites are that much more messed up. hahaha. great. i'm not even in the mood to date right now! its more like, i need attention so i log on and let guys email me. today i got a mail from a guy and his handle was VinvcentVanCock. holy crap! so i clicked on his thumbnail and, yes, there was his cock. the sad thing was, he was kinda cute. thank god he lives in spain or i woulda mailed back (just kidding). why do people think they have to put their cocks on an on-line dating thing? it wasn't even that big.

i was emailing with this guy last week who sounded kinda promising. so i'm reading his mails and he has this english thing going on. like, i might go to sacto to hang wiff me bubs. after reading a few more i asked him, "so are you english?" and you just know that my parenthetical statement is (because if you're not you're fucking lame).

turns out he ISN'T english and claims to have this "email vernavular." i was like, DUDE this is like a fucking JOB interview. i don't get it. maybe he thinks its cute?

way back when, i did some on-line dating in boston. i actually had a guy FLY OUT from LA to hang out with me for new years. how awesome was that? we had the best time ever but realized that there wasn't really a love connection and we remain friends to this day. i call him LA David but now he lives in omaha so that doesn't really work.

i also met some guy at a coffee shop and we got into a heated argument about kid rock. obviously i was on the support side of KR. he totally rocks! but this guy claimed that KR had no musical value what-so-ever. i was all, dude, he paved the way for lame ass bands like limp bizkit and that other band that sounds exactly like them.

today i did nothing...

...but somehow i was still able to get myself into a situation where i am now boycotting a store.

on saturday i went shopping at forever 21 and i know i am already supposed to be boycotting them because they have their clothes made in sweatshops or something. and yes, they are a shop for juniors and i am far from junior but, dude, we DO NOT have an H&M here. where else am i supposed to get my disposable clothing?

anyways, i bought some stuff and when i got home and was giving my mom and cousin my sweatshop/boycotting/H&M replacement fashion show, when i realized that one of the shirts i purchased was not in the bag. so i call and the store and a guy says, no prob, just come on down with a receipt and ask to speak to a manager.

today i go down there and before i even get to a manager i check to see if they have the shirt in my size. naturally, they don't. i find the manager, paul, run thru my spiel and he says, well do you want a store credit? i was like no, i want my [fucking] shirt or i want my money. (apparently forever 21 only gives out store credits and they "have no way of giving back money." dude, how about opening the register and taking the money out?) so i say, well, its not my fault that your sales girl left a shirt that i paid for out of my bag. he starts to get that weird customer service tone. you know the one where they have no intention of helping you and its up to you whether you get what you want by the amount of scene you cause? i am in no mood for a scene and after he tells me that "i can look around and pick out something else." i grab my receipt and say, yeah i'll do that paul but, it really sucks to be me, huh?

then i decide to just get the smaller size shirt and lose weight because, damn! i love it! i make my way to the register and this girl waits on me and i tell her the spiel and that paul said i could just grab the shirt and stuff. so she looks at the receipt and says, huh. i rang you up the other day. and i said, oh yeah. i don't expect you to remember this because you were swamped, but you dropped some of my clothes on the ground as you were ringing and the shirt was probably overlooked. she just looks at me like i am totally lying and/or accusing her of being a bad employee and she gets on the walkie talkie with paul. he ok's it and as she's making the exchange she says, wow that really stinks huh? in a way that implies that i am lying and that i acutally have the shirt at home in the correct size and i decided to get another one and came all the way back downtown with this story. and i said, yeah it REALLY stinks because now you don't have my size and i have to go with the next size down. you know, samantha? how about: gee, i'm sorry for your inconvenience, here let me help you. UGH!

this week i am detoxing. that's just a fancy way of saying, i am so losing ten pounds in seven days. no, its not becuase of the shirt. i tried it on and it actually fits in the smaller size. its just because, well, i had to buy fat pants. maybe i shouldn't say fat pants. maybe i should say pants that actually fit. double ugh!

those chinese sure know how to make a brownie!

so my mom and my cousine were in town this last week. can you say stress? the older i get the more i realize that its a BIG inconvenience to have people in my space. i'm sure tho that if i had a house, or even a two bedroom apartment, a lot of that in-your-faceness would be eliminated.

do you any of you have the type of relatives that don't really have anything in mind to do and you feel like you have to be the uber-exciting tour guide with a million excursions on hand? you feel like you need to entertain 24/7 and if you don't you feel like you're not living up to your daugtherness, son-ness, cousin-ness etc? woosh. that's rough!

anyways, here is what we did!

we ate and in-n-out!
we got to go to stinson beach because it was so warm!
we rode the cable cars (again) but now i have THREE extra tickets and plan to ride the california line this week!
we went to fishermans wharf and saw ONE sea lion.
we drove up to twin peaks.
we ate at the cliff house bistro.
we shopped at macy's. i found jeans! (which incidentally might be stonewashed. yikes!)
we took a free walking tour of chinatown and then ate dim sum at new asia. dim yum!

nice segueway...

on my chinatown "tour" (and that is in quotes because it was really boring, you couldn't hear the lady and she gave A LOT of history of china, not at all what i expected) i learned that fortune cookies were invented in SF. we went to a shop where they hand make them and got a sample.

afterwards we went to my favorite dim sum place, new asia. my mom. she's so funny. she has this thing about her when she has never been in a situation, she tries to act hip and with it and stuff...let's just say, using chopsticks to eat was a total disaster. how can she not EVER have used chopsticks before? i mean, in boston she worked right near chinatown. how can the use of chopsticks have been avoided? needless to say, chinese broccoli was all over the table. finally i asked for a fork and i think they had to go out and buy some. it was a HUGE production for the waitstaff. unfortunately, since i was totally mortified, i have no pictures of the debacle.

afterwards, my mom was set on getting some almond cookies, she has memories of eating them in boston, so we popped into a bakery to get some and THE BEST BROWNIE EVER. omg, i bought this brownie that was TWO DOLLARS. it was the most fudgiest, frostingiest, densist, chocolatey-ist brownie i have ever eaten. it even had NUTS in it and i typically don't do nuts in chocolate. its soooo rich that i had to eat it in 3 slices. one a day.

so i dropped them at the airport this morning, and when i got home i remembered, three hours later, that i was supposed to call my grandpa to tell him that they are on their way. turns out, at the time of my call, they were stranded on the runway due to storms somewhere for two hours and who knows if they left yet!

me and my cousin emily (she was laughing because i told her what D.E.A.S. stood for...the Drunk Extended Arm Shot)

emily, my mom and me at bugaloos this morning.

i've created a monster

this is eduardo.

he is my (not so) stray kitty that i feed. every morning he sits in my bedroom windowsill waiting for me to get up. and when i open the door to my deck this is what i see. he is patiently waiting for his $2.99 kitty food fix. then he sits with me out on the deck. he lets me pick him up and scratch his head. his more of a "scratching" kitty as a opposed to a "petting" kitty. he follows me wherever i go out in my yard and now even responds to "ed." heh. i love him. alas, i believe he does, in fact, belong to some neighbor who lives in one of the houses beyond my backyard. he's just too healthy looking and his coat is very shiny. he is the sweetest thing going (besides, of course, shy kitty).

rhapsody sucks ass!

so i got this free trial thing for rhapsody and what did i do? i downloaded a shin-load of songs and was all YAY! only to discover that i can't actually transfer those songs onto my ipod because they are the "trial subscription" version. what the hey man? sigh.

go clowns! go krumps!

i just got back from seeing Rize with misty. did you know that there was a dancing clown movement in south central, LA? no, i didn't either. they have their own song! they have their own forum! they even have yearly dance offs. in an arena. they featured dance off #5 in the movie. the clowns compete against krumpers, a sect that moved away from clowning because it was too boring for them and they wanted more. they wear face paint. dude, its like if crazy football fans started to dance during half-time. it was so interesting. i just couldn't wrap my head around the absolute truth that there are people in gangland in LA wearing face paint and dancing. its just SO WEIRD. but AWESOME! i am so learning how to krump!

guilty pleasures!

today my guilty pleasure is listening to the entire 2 cd "best of" set by tupac. continuously. i will get those raps down if it kills me! he had an amazing ability to rhyme hennessey with just about every word in the english language.

yesterday my guilty pleasure was watching a doc on the art of (jewish) matchmaking. best line ever (as a guy was getting interviewd by the rabbi and his wife, who apparently handle matchmaking in this guys area, about his level of involvement in judaism...which was slim) was: "we don't want to lose you to a shikse."

this reminds me...many years ago when i worked for an internationally known rock band, us office peeps had a membership to the on-line, music industy, insiders gossip website called The Velvet Rope. is it still around? let me look....yes it is. it looks lame 9and tame) today. about ten years ago the front page was of a red velvet curtained doorway with a red velvet rope across it. you had to PAY (have a membership) to be able to get inside. anyways, we always liked to keep on top of the gossip surrounding our band.

after someone would post, they would always end their entries with a series of letter abbreviations that stood for stuff. LT (listening to) GP (guilty pleasure) etc. anyways, now that all of your heads are resting on your desks...i'll stop the boring story.

ok i have to post some stuff on ebay now.

two words: diamond nights

let me just start off by saying, THANK GOD i am off that anti-depressant or sunday night woulda been a lot crazier than it was. i only made out with one person and only grabbed willo's boobs once.

diamond nights. sigh. they are my new favorite band! they totally rock in a thin lizzy kinda way. so awesome. they played at cafe du nord with hijack the disco and midnight sernande. HTD was great! that was my first time seeing them live. mike, their bassist, is the cutest thing ever and misty and i have to persuade him to give us bass lessons. anyways, it was quite a night with many beers. i think the highlight of my evening was trying to entice the hot bass player, seth, from diamond nights back to my apartment for stoffers french bread pizza. i am a class act.

seth (the cutey from DN) and me with my beer face.

more photos

Edinburgh Castle and Leprachaun Hat

geez. i've never been there before. i like when i find bars in SF where cute (seemingly) straight boys hang out at.

misty says that we talked about funny things last night and i'm bummed. i don't remember anything. however, i do remember that i have created a new art project for me. this in response to the disturbing fact that the leprachaun hat trend is still alive and well within a subculture of the mod and rockabilly movements in SF. its like a crossover culture: leprabilly mod? modlabilly? anyways, i am now going to interview, track, and plot the leprachaun hat subjects and sitings on a giant map of the nation. for now i'll start in CA.

last night i watched stella for the first time. it was pretty silly, but it was also pretty dang funny. it was very reminiscent of the monkeys TV show and bugs bunny cartoons. in the first episode the three of them (they all live together in an apartment) get evicted because they play their funk rocktoo loud out and have to find a new place. in the meantime they live out in the back alley, in their suits, and share a bean for dinner. remember that in a bugs bunny cartoon? the bean gets sliced in three portions. hahaha. they finally find a place they love and have to be interviewed by the co-op board and they show up with skunk tails attached to their pants and shortly it becomes evident that they are going to reenact the flashdance dance scene when alex has to do her audition in that giant loftspace in front of the entrance committee. anyways, the best part is they have a full face shot of the dancer double for michael ian black (my new boyfriend) and then they do a shoddy cut to michael as if it was him all the time.

anyways...i have to eat something.

ben lee

yesterday ben lee played a FREE show in the hotel bar patio of hotel vitale. here's a pic!

after much "deciding" on me and misty's part...we finally got our butts out of our houses, thanks to willo, to check him out. and we're so glad we did!

those are ben lee's legs in the back! obviously,
misty and i are happy to be there...

hez and willo

photos...finally

one pigeon

















two pigeon













pigeons in love













hez and dad

rock shows

ok so i have never been to the fillmore. here are a list of shows that i would like to see. i can't see ALL of them since i am "retired" and have limited funds. anyone wanna catch a show with me?

Esthero
Fri
07/08/05

Louis XIV
Fri
07/22/05

Kaiser Chiefs
Mon
07/25/05

Kid Beyond
Sat
07/30/05

Dinosaur Jr.
Thu
08/18/05


not at the fillmore
Fu Manchu
Slim's
Sun
07/10/05