why can't ghosts have babies?

because they have hallow weenies. hahahha. i know. dumb.

i celebrated halloween on saturday with misty, ted, lyne, ali, willo, negmeddin, derek and john. hi? awesome. this crew always brings the fun wherever they go and fun was not lacking on saturday night. misty and willo have a complete recap of the evening so i won't blog about it since i'd just be saying the same things! my pictures are here. i think we all have the same pictures too. spooky!

i have been completely engrossed in the first season of Lost. who watches this show? omg so good. i just finished disc 4 last night and can't wait for netflix to send along disc 5! on my way to the mailbox tonight to send that last disc back... i was thinking about one of my halloweens a few years ago. before blogging was called blogging. i don't think there was a name for it yet. i think i called it creative non-ficton on my webite. anyways, i was on the phone with my best east coast friend karen and we were both on ebay searching for 70's porn. (i used to have a pretty good collection of this stuff but sold it when i moved here so don't ask to borrow Candy Strippers or The Devil In Miss Jones or My Tongue is Quick because I don't have them anymore). so while i was on the phone with karen, searching for 70's porn on ebay the doorbell would ring every so often and i would run down my stairs to hand out candy and compliment the kids on their costumes. i felt kinda dirty.

another year i was at a motely crue concert. i would have to say that motley crue on halloween elicited some interesting concert wear. one guy had a giant tinfoil penis. hmmm.

today i plan on staying in and handing out candy. i wonder if kids in my neigborhood go out?

here is that halloween entry i was telling you about. this is from 2000.

Two years ago for Halloween I went to a Motley Crue concert with Ren. We relived our heavy metal past with almost scary accuracy thanks to a majority of fans that never left the late 80’s. The kind of people who think it’s funny to go to a Halloween Motley Crue concert with a giant tin-foil dick strapped to the front of them. What a hoot. After singing the rebel rousing “Shout At The Devil” chorus, Ren and I spent most of the night wincing and asking each other when The Crue had turned into a pussy pop band.

Last year I stocked up on candy a few weeks before the holiday. Excited by the fact that Target had opened within a reasonable distance from me, I bought a shin-load of candy and ripped into it on the drive home. I blindingly ate through two of the three bags over the course of a few days and was forced to purchase replacement candy at the last minute. I spent Halloween night resenting the kiddies in their costumes because they were taking my favorite candy out of my mouth. I was totally slammed as every kid in a 5 mile radius knocked on my door for treats. Didn’t they know I bought extra bags of my favorites so that I could eat the left-overs? They weren’t supposed to plan an all out attack of conquer and deplete. This was the city after all, parents aren’t supposed to trust their neighbors. I spent most of the night hiding behind my hallway door, clutching my bowl full of Reese’s Peanut Buttercups and Twix pretending not to be home.

This year, I was actually trying to avoid the whole candy thing because of that incident last year. I swore to myself that in order not to have that happen again, I wasn't going to participate. So, instead, I scheduled myself for an African dance class but as the day wore on I truly didn’t feel like jumping around. Besides, I was itching to research vintage porn from the 70's on Ebay to see how much the videos were going for.

I got home to discover that my dumb-ass, downstairs neighbor, who was majorly out of sorts at all the costumed kids until he remembered it was Halloween, had run out to the Co-op for candy. Now, the Co-op normally doesn’t stock real candy, but for the holiday they concede and offer a limited supply. The real stuff too. Naturally, by 6pm they were all out all out of Halloween-sized bags and he ended up getting normal sized candy bars, which is to say the Co-op doesn't have good candy, they have like, Sunspire and Eco-bars or whatever the hell. Realizing the possible outcome of being empty handed early in the night, he freaked out in the store and bought a bag of cookies just in case. I was like, You can't give out COOKIES! They're not individually wrapped! I was forced to carry the whole house on my two bags, the night was looking grim.

I spent most of the night on-line and on the phone with Ren as we both scoured Ebay for “Classic” porn, occasionally running to the front door and cooing at the costumed kiddies. I have to admit, though, I felt kinda creepy. I mean, I WAS searching for porn videos on THE biggest kid holiday of the year, and after viewing such titles as "Sororiety Girls with Big Dildos" and "Teenage Girls Love it Up The Ass". I had to answer the door and feign...Nice-Thirty Something-Girl-Supporting-Her-Neighborhood-And-Giving-Out-Candy-ness.

When I really felt like...Dirty-Filthy-Thirty-Something-Girl-Searching-For-Porn-On-Ebay-Where-You-Even-Had-To-Give-A-Credit-Card-Number-As-Proof-Of-Being-Eighteen-ness. “Happy Halloween! Don’t you look sweet???” I need to bid on that John Holmes video! It’s going in an hour!!! C’mon, take the candy…no, no, only one, here ya go…John Holmes…John Holmes…okayeee…alriiight…get off my porch!

me in my goth-y years

this was actually my license photo. heh. that IS my real hair (and apparently before i heard of eyebrow grooming).

people suck. especially when they are losers.

today after the gym i went to clement street to hit up an asian market. i wanted to make some asian-y chicken soup tonight and needed me some lemon grass and galang-galang-galanga. here's what i bought for a mere TEN DOLLARS.

2 jalpenos
broccoli
lemon grass
galanga
celery
carrots
rice noodles
coconut cookies
bok choy
onion
dark soy sauce
chili sauce

TEN DOLLARS people.

anyways, after the market i walked over to a little coffee shop that was cute and cramped and had some yummy sandwiches on display (mozzarella, egg and tomato! interesting!). in front of me was this pretty non-descript guy, but on futher observation i would say that, in high-school, he was probably an insecure white hat (jock) and needed *stuff* to seem important or tuff (i judge people on a regular basis). so he is ordering (coffee, 2 cookies) and he pulls out this wad of bills wrapped with a rubberband. i don't really notice until he starts, like, opening and closing the wad a lot and when i actually LOOK at it, i see that its a stack of about 30-40 one hundred dollar bills. i mean, front to back man, possibly even more than that. the counter person rings him up ($3.30) and the guy literally takes the rubber band off his wad of cash, and starts COUNTING hundreds!?!? he then hands the counter person a one hundred dollar bill. i mean, dude, he got like NINETY-SEVEN DOLLARS in change. at this point, the guy in line nehind me kinda snort/chuckles and i turn to look at him and thought, huh...did he see the wad o'hundreds too? is he similarly NOT impressed with this loser? i turn back to the counter and place my order and while i do this and wait for my coffee the money guy is still standing there shuffling through his wad o' cash and seperating out the change he got and man what-the-fuck-ever!

as i turn to leave the line, the guy behind me says, "jeeze he could tackle half the national debt with that!" HAHAHA! love that guy. his comment made me grab his elbow and squeeze it. hahaha.

i guess what really got me about this guy is that you just know this is all the money he has. because you know what? people who HAVE that money on a regular basis DON'T carry 40k on them to the coffee shop. you know he was just acting big. showing off.

i said to my friend, karen, that i really wanted to say to him, "are you sure you should be flaunting your cash like that?" but then something akin to manners come over me and i don't.

what an ass.

god saved me from eating 650 extra calories

yesterday i panicked and bought a package of organic, vanilla creme, sandwich cookies while i was wasting time in safeway. i started eating the cookies in the car on the way home (note to self: sandwich cookies without hydrogenated fat aren't that great). when i parked and got out of my car, i grabbed my shopping bags (grapes, strawberries, one diet coke, low-fat shredded cheese, cookies) and i lost hold of one of the handles and out slid my opened package of cookies and half of them dumped onto the sidewalk.

normally...five second rule...

...but this was a mission sidewalk and "bum corner" to boot. yeah not eating food off of the sidewalk.

so there lay about ten cookies. i looked at the package and found out that 2 cookies = 130 calories which means god saved me from eating an additional 650 calories. of course, i ate the whole rest of the package that day so i don't know if it matters that much now.

i am my own nemesis

Nemesis

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

hi. you know what?

i think my love affair with boston is over. yay!

for awhile, recently, i was kinda missing boston. missing my favorite restaurant, the franklin cafe. missing riding my bike around and looking at the awesome view of the city from the mass ave bridge. shopping at filene's basement and H&M.

but then...

...i went there. and i had all these plans to visit my favorite places and i did that but it was no big whoop. i realized that the world is getting smaller and smaller and that the things that i can get in boston are all available here to me in san francisco. but of course, the only thing i can't get here in SF is my boston friends.

last thursday i went out with teresa, mirta, donna and my former intern lauren. we went to this new place in cambridge called middlesex. it was very west coast for boston/cambridge. they had this open floor plan with a bar in the back and these no-back-couches and tables that had wheels. so when its time for dancing you just push the couches up against the wall! so cool. they also had yummy "tapas" food, which i guess now is a misconception. its all just really bar food in a new healthy-ish style. we drank a bunch and then mirta, lauren and i went over to the enormous room for some dancing and pomegranate margaritas. hi. yum. after more drinking we went back to mirta's and baked pillsbury crescent rolls. hi. yum.

the rest of my week there i connected with some more friends tried to do some shopping. dude, the moroccan look is in boston too! mostly tho, i was kinda down. the weather was crap. cold-ish and rainy THE WHOLE TIME. i ate a lot of crap food. i don't think a vegetable passed my lips all week! and now i am paying the bloated-carb-laden price.

so it was nice to have a warm sunny day to come home to!

oh and...i cut my hair off.

all photos here!

painful in so many ways

this past weekend i was in the berkshires, lenox MA, for my dad's wedding. the wedding was held, and guests stayed at the stonover inn. the inn consists of a main house (3 bedrooms), a school house (one giant suite), and a cottage (sleeps 4). i got to stay in the cottage with my new sisters. that was strange. i've never had siblings before, so i really had no idea how to interact. as an only child i require LOTS of alone time, and at times this weekend when i wanted to be alone to recharge, i felt that i should probably stick around so as not appear rude.

the ceremony was nice and i was really happy that my grandparents and my two uncles and thier wives were there. i got to reconnect with my uncles. our relationships have kinda gotten lost the older i got, but it was nice to hear things like, "you are my favorite niece" and "you're really hot." (the uncles can be mildly inappropriate at all times! hahaha).

Hez and her Uncle Bar and Lars

after that weekend, i drove to smith college. my friend jessica is in school there. she gave up a pretty lucrative career in the music industry, an apartment and the life of an extremely-mid-thirty-year old to finish her undergrad full-time. that means living in a dorm! fun! i had never lived in a dorm before so it was cool to visit her. i got my own room and got to experience a little bit of what that life was like. especially since i had a paper due for MY class. i got to sit in a dorm room and write a paper!

northampton MA is pretty cute. i had never really been there, but it has everything. we even got to see the decemberists at a club! the decemberists: how in the hell are they selling FOLK MUSIC to the kids!?!? i wasn't really impressed. i mean, i like the songs that bagel ted has played but a whole concert was just too much. i mean, 1) they totally stole the BSSB idea. they did havnaegila. hi. the BSSB alreayd did that with dayenu. and 2) they played a cover of the fairport convention. not only any cover but my all time favorite song in highschool, tam lin. and to me, what was just utterly irritating is that the kids were all into it as if it was a decemberists song (no one made it known that it was a song from a 40 year old band that had richard thompson in it and was sung by sandy denny). ANYWAYS, at the show i got to see my all time mid-twenty's crush, dana ong. (that's her in the red pants)

Hez and Jess at the show

dana used to be in one of my boyfriends band, slaughter shack. she is this totally hot woman who is half chinese and half italian and is just utterly beautiful. back then she had long, black, ringlett hair, tattoos and played lead guitar in this really heavy band. nowadays she is designing and making leather clothing for rockstars! i didn't really get a chance to talk to her since i am so in love with her, but i internet stalked her a few months ago and was able to find this out.

i am back in boston and yesterday i had my tattoo (started) done. ok it was supposed to be done yesterday but ram, my tattoo artist, well...he's kind of a dilly dallyer, and he spent a long time drawing and readjusting my designs, and then talking, and then more talking. we finally started at 5pm (my appointment was at 1:30pm). he was all, oh it will take like 3-4 hours. i was all, really!?! because the last one took about FOURTEEN! and this one appeared to be much larger than my last one. at about 7:30 he hadn't even finished the outline and i was all, karen...i'm not gonna be done until 11pm (she had gotten a rental car to pick me up from the almost inaccessbile by public transportation section of boston, jamaica plain). i was like, is that gonna be a problem? and she was all, uh, yeah. but then ram realized that he was free the next day and we would finish it then.

cool! except getting a tattoo is extremely painful and i kinda wanted it done in one day, AND it is totally gonna cut into my H&M shopping time. so after i get my hair cut today i am going back to get it filled in. wait til you see it! its AWESOME. and really big.

hi. you know what?

not so warm anymore.

saturday it torrential downpoured and then the temperature dropped like 30 degrees. no shit. it was 80 on friday and then today it was 50. holy crap! silly new england.

misty made me do it.

interesting, since when i was little i used to call myself Keek. heh.


You're Katherine "Kiki" Harrison(Julia Roberts - 'America's Sweethearts')
Always the shoulder to cry on, you try to juggle
the lives of those you care about while
battling with your own. You have a beautiful
smile, a wonderful sense of humor and charming
wit, but often go unnoticed. Too many times
others get the spotlight, but that's ok by you.
You don't need the limelight, you just want
that special someone to recognize you for the
loveable and loving person you are.
You're booksy, artsy, and creative. You prefer
toned down, subdued classic clothing to express
your personality.
You do have a hard time expressing yourself
outwardly, and often turn to some 'thing' for
comfort, while you carry the brunt on your
shoulders.
You're ambitious and professional and succeed at
everything you tackle.
All in all, you're the rock.

Which Romantic Comedy Heroine Are You?

hi. you know what?

it's awesome to be WARM.

i'm in boston right now and its still, like, summer here. like summer that is really hot. like summer that is humid. like summer where it's almost unbearable during the day and then when the sun goes down and the wind picks up its just awesome.

hi. you know what else?

i really miss boston. i mean, maybe i dont' miss the one rock club and no night life, but i do miss my friends and knowing, absolutely, where i am going and how to get there and riding my bike over the mass ave. bridge and shopping at filene's basement and H&M (coming soon to a location near you).

hi. and. united sucks ass. they have absolutely NO leg room. just to get to my carry on bag stashed under my seat i had to do some weird contortionist moves. i actually broke out into a sweat trying to get my New Yorker out of my bag.