...and a few more things

I lived in Buffalo until I was about 7 and then my family moved on to Rochester, infinitely more cosmopolitan and artsy than Buffalo, and then finally on to Boston. As I was growing up, my grandmother's favorite thing to do was to play bingo. I was going as early as 5, and when I could, I would play a card until I got sleepy and then I would lay my head in grandma's lap and stretch out along some chairs and sleep until it was over.

I played here and there over the years, mostly when my best friend Kym was pregnant and we couldn't party, and years later in Boston with my friend Karen. We went every Thursday for a year. She would pick me up after work, we'd grab some Thai food and go to the catholic school in Arlington, MA and get a seat and have dinner.

Bingo players are weird. First of all, if you go to a neighborhood game (as opposed to a bingo hall where that is all they do and you expect to see "transient" players) everyone knows everyone else. Everyone has their section of the hall, their table and their seats. As a new person, it's very hard to come in to this environment and feel welcome since most players will guard their territory, as well as anyone elses, with their life. There were even times when we would get to the hall and there would be a choice spot at a table available and when we got there, there would be no chairs so we'd have to hunt around for some and deal with some very unfriendly ladies.

Second of all, the ladies won't talk to you. You're the new guys and you are encroaching on their territory and god forbid if you actually win a game in those introductory months. You'll be blacklisted.

What was interesting, though, is that Karen and I were most definitely the youngest people playing at that hall. Later, when we had passed all our old lady tests and became accepted and welcomed into the "fold," where OUR seats were being saved on the sly by the ladies...some new "young" people would come in to play and Karen and I were right along with the old ladies, "who do they think they are?" By that time, Karen and I were part of the group and had proved ourselves as regular, dedicated, bingo players and not just some kids coming in to try bingo out because it might be cool. We were the real thing.

At this time, Karen and I used to talk about making a bingo documentary, because this behavior among bingo players is not just segregated to that catholic school cafeteria where we played, it happens all over the country. Bingo is a subculture containing it's own social rules and regulations. So I was a little irritated and feeling like I missed the boat when I discovered that someone had made a Bingo documentary since the golden year of our attendance.

Anyways, one of the things I wanted to do was to play some bingo while in buffalo! On Tuesday afternoon, my mom, grandma, aunt, uncle, cousin and me all drove up to Canada to catch the 4pm game and a favorite Bingo Hall. Depending on how many games and how fast the bingo caller is, it can take up to 3 hours. This was a pretty fast round and lasted about 2 hours and guess what? I WON! I won 50 bucks on a two line bingo. YAY! When we got home I slipped grandpa $20 and then my mom and I went and got Bocce's pizza, which is the BEST pizza ever in the world. (I might add that my mom has dragged their half baked pizza across the country for me and it rocks!)

Actual newstory I heard in Buffalo:
Newscaster: You may have seen people walking around with little white headphones in their ears and a little white cord that is connected to...what? Well, its probably connected to an iPod.
Me: *staring at TV*
Newscaster: An iPod is a device where you can store your music and take it with you wherever you go!
Me: *staring at TV*

They're kidding, right? It's 2005 and people.

Dear Kid Kani:

Because my "webmail" sucks...I cannot reply to your most awesome email about Roni James Dio. In case the rest of you don'tknow, I am obssessed with Queensryche Operation: Mindcrime. Kid Kani emailed me to tell me that Roni James Dio has signed on to be the new Mr. X (only Scott will understand this) and they are making an album sequel.

Here's the thing tho, I thought Kid Kani was telling me that Queensryche were so hitting broadway with an Operation: Mindcrime MUSICAL and that Roni James was gonna be in it. I almost shit my pants and surfed towards Ticket Master but then I reread and saw that it was audio only. sigh. Why has NO ONE invented an Operation: Mindcrime MUSICAL!?!?!?! I would totally go to that.

TONIGHT
I met my mom's co-workers. She works in an architectural firm and all her co-workers wanted to meet me because, apparently, my mom just broadcasts my private life all over the office. Anyways, we met them at Average Joe's, which was just...um, average. But since Buffalo is the beginning of the "Land of 25 Cent Drafts," it was TWO FOR ONE drinks night. Hi? Wasted. I had two vodka and soda's, a shot of Jager (no Frenet), finished my mom's beer and then drank another. Her coworkers were all under 30 which made me feel like asking...why is my mom hanging out with 20-somethings? But then I made her do a lemon drop and all was relatively well.

Most exciting thing today: Victoria's Secret was having a $10 off sale on my bra model. Woohoo! Bought it.

Some Things NOT to do at Christmas...

...as observed by your out of town daughter/niece/cousin/granddaughter...

1) Don't tell your Jewish optometrist, Happy CH-annukah (That's channukah with a "CH" like in CHEESE) as a joke because that's the way you say it with your family.

2) Don't crack Arab jokes at the Christmas table and then say, "oh we probably shouldn't say anything because of her boyfriend."

3)After you find out the boyfriend is Egyptian, don't ask if he does that walk.

4)Don't go see Narnia on winter break during a matinee.

5) Don't say, "well, you'll probalby never have kids then..." just because she is rolling her eyes at some rowdy brats in a theatre and making you move to several new seats to avoid them.

6)Don't say, "Next year at this time, if you're not married, we should go to..."

7)And then when your daughter just stares at you, don't say, "Well..it COULD happen."

8)Don't stab a relative in the back with a searing comment behind their back and then be sweet and nice to their face..in FRONT of a witness.

9)Don't be lazy and/or on welfare and/or not motivated to make a living and then complain that the prosperous relative won't give you that third leased vehicle, extra TV or computer. HE WORKED FOR IT!

10) Don't crack jokes that make fun of everyone and then be too simple minded to not understand a double entendre, under the radar joke, or blatant sarcastic remark. (oh wait, maybe you SHOULD be that way.)

...well. At least they vote democrat.

..and they still keep coming

this is credited to kid kani.

so i am leaving soon for my trek in the wilderness that is buffalo. for some reason, i just can't wrap my mind around 11 degrees below zero. its been kinda warmish here and not really feeling like christmas and pretty soon i'll be dealing with snow and cold.

i also like to pack "sparsely" and having to bring giant sweaters this and down that drives me crazy. i am the lightest packer ever and even tho i bring, like one pair of jeans, two shirts and hoodie and some socks and undies i still over pack. ok it's not that bad.

i might need an intervention
so, at the possibility of risking ridicule and being shunned within my circle, i bought Uggs. hey! at least they are fucking black, ok? actually, they aren't really Uggs, they're knockoffs because there is NO WAY i am paying $120 for non-waterproof "boots."

i also made a new addition to my fleece wardrobe and bought a cute new hat! i immediately ripped off that stupid tag.

early chirstmas presents
so my kitty decided to give me a little special something for christmas. TAPEWORMS. no I don't have them, HE does. i have never had an animal with such a repulsive parasite before, so i am kinda freaked out. luckily i got to leave work at noon today and the tapeworms were confirmed when i got home and was able to get a perscription asap. why do animals always have something big happen to them before their owners leave?

mythbuster #1

turns out, a tape worm isn't one, giant, long worm. instead, it looks like a sausage link attached to the intestinal track of your animal and as it gets bigger it releases a "link" and that's what comes out the kitty butt. and its not actually a worm, its an EGG SACK. i know, this is so incredibly gross.

mythbuster #2
kitty is not in danger of losing a lot of weight as the tapeworm, actually, requires little nutrition to survive. so when you hear about people purposely putting them in their guts to lose weight, well, that's not gonna work. wait, you have heard that urban myth right?

mythbuster #3
their not transferable. just because one cat has them doesn't mean that the other does (or even the human). tapeworms are acquired when an animal ingests an infected flea. the fleas feed on the egg sacks, the animal accidentally eats the flea, the tapeworm hatches inside animal. its a 3 week turn around time. that's why, in addition to making your pet happy, you should be vigilant about a flea remedy. so, unless i ingest a flea -- i won't get them!

the treatment is one pill now and then one pill in 2 weeks. yay!

go here for more info and a great picture of the egg sacks coming out an animals butt. (don't get excited...it's an illustration.)

I believe this is the best thing I have seen all year

Just keep watching...

BossWatch

Is this not the best feature ever for an email program to have!?!?
http://www.eudora.com/email/features/bosswatch.html

I wish my friend M had this a few years ago. He got fired from a job because he accidentally cc'd his boss on something he shouldn't have.

Working

One thing that is great about working again is that I get to catch up on my blog reading. It's funny how I had all the time in the world for six months and I rarely even got to Ajax's blogg. But, now that I have a steady 9-5 job I have lots of time to read.

Work Clothes
I absolutely, cannot stand having to put on fancy clothes only just to sit in them for 8 hours a day. It drives me crazy. So crazy that I get uber stressed out about having to figure out what to wear. Usually what I do is I follow the guidelines for awhile and then I slowly integrate something inappropriate, like giant platform boots. Or something forbidden, like jeans. At my last job we weren't supposed to wear jeans, except for on "casual friday" (god, that is so lame), and about a year into working there I said outloud, "this is lame" and then I just wore them whenever. You know what? Jeans are not gonna prevent me from doing my job. They did, however, label me as a rebel and rule breaker. WhatEVER!

So, to prevent myself from going crazy, I decided to create a uniform of sorts for my new job! A uniform, you say!?! Yes. I went out and bought 7 pairs of black pants from The Gap and a various selection of long sleeve, black, knit shirts and sweaters and the occasional black button shirt, a pair of dansko shoes called "JAZZ,"and about a dozen pairs of black socks. This way I can just get up and put on basically the same thing every day, I know what I look like it in it, I know that it all fits and I know that I will be comfortable. I know, it sounds a little extreme or maybe boring. But not really. There is no standing around in front of your closet trying to decide what to wear*. There are no multiple wardrobe changes and most importantly, no regrets. Girls know what this is. When you put something on in the morning and then you get to work and you realize that you feel like the biggest ass in what you are wearing? No regrets.

Menlo Park
My new job is in Menlo Park. Kind of a drag to commute, but not so bad. One thing exciting is that I get to explore new shopping areas. So far, the Stanford Mall kicks ass! Hi? FOUR high-end anchor stores? Not only Macy's and Nordstroms, but Nieman Marcus AND Bloomingdales. Saweeeet! I also love fancy grocery stores and was psyched to be close to an Andronico's (even tho its just a Molly Stones in disguise, which is just a cheaper version of Whole Foods).

Last night I met my Woodside Friends for dinner in Menlo Park on "the strip" aka Santa Cruz Ave. I got there a little early and walked around looking at all the little shops. My verdict about Santa Cruz Ave is that it is full of shops where people don't actually buy stuff. Like persian rug shops, and high end galleries and clothing stores and those weird stores that when you walk into, you think they have a theme but as you look around you realize that they really don't. It's just a store full of high-priced unrelated stuff like candles and wallets?

Ok, let's get my work on.


*actually this isn't true...ridiculous as it sounds, I have actually switched long sleeve black shirts while getting dressed becuse one wasn't "right."

monday morning musings

what is more better than cruising down 280 on the way to work and DJ iPod plays METAL CHURCH!?!

nothing is more better.

especially when it is followed up by Hot from Motley Crue. that Shout at the Devil record continues to amaze me. back when i was 13, i just could not appreciate the brilliance that is the Crue in their early years. i was, however, smart enough in junior high to forge a doctor's note with my friend liz. we skipped school and took a 40 minute bus ride to the House of Guitars in Rochester, NY. Motley Crue was doing a meet and greet and we got in line with all these metal heads and ho's! i mean, ho's before i even knew what a ho was!

there was liz and i in our jordache jeans, leather nike hi-tops and zip front hooded sweatshirts and denim jackets. i had my SatD fold out album and i got it signed by the whole band! then i had tommy lee sign my denim jacket and when i got home i added "of Motely Crue" ...no. that is not a typo. i spelled it wrong on my jacket and then could never wear it again.

shooters!

i am seriously considering getting a new cell phone? mine is only a year old so why? um, because cingular is now offereing the motorola razr for $99. that's why.

but, just in case a new cell phone face plate will make my phone feel new, i started to browse the motorola website for some updates. and then i came across this gem! it's the MOBILE BARTENDER! can you imagine how much dial-a-shot could be improved if we all had this? (i believe there is no explanation needed)

this just makes me laugh

http://m4ksf.org/growers/

these guys are growing mustaches for charity and the link provides weekly photos of their 'stache progress. my favorite is Matt Rubin, because as his 'stache grows he morphs in to casanova.

in other news -- i am at MY JOB right now. hi. got a job. no more naps for me.

i just saw something so gross!

i was watching 60 Minutes and they were doing a bit (no pun intended) on sharks and the new thing that is happening called shark tourism where people pay money to go out on a boat and get into a cage and go under water and watch the sharks swim around them. the thing is, where the sharks are available is where a lot of people swim and surf and since the sharks are being attracted to these areas the tour operators are putting the people who live there and use the sea every day in danger! that link above is an article on the show.

this show touched on a bunch of different shark topics and said that china is the biggest "collector" of sharks. i think they catch over a million a year for use in shark fin soup. here's the thing though. they don't use any other part of the shark but the fin. so when they catch these poor creatures they lasso them around the neck, drag them on the boat and then CUT OFF THEIR FINS while they are still alive and then dump them overboard to sink to the bottom and die. naturally 60 minutes had footage of this in operation and i had to hide my eyes. i almost cried and felt really sick after that.

this is just so horrible and saddens me that stuff like this is still going on. that humans have such low regard for other living beings. :(

Sirius Satellite Radio

so i am siriusly (heh) deciding to get Sirius satellite radio. i admit that i am a Howarrd Stern fan and now that i am going to be commuting to work via my car and/or caltrain I want to be able to listen to the show (among other programming). I am interested in the S50 unit, which is sirus' portable unit, meaning it can go from car to home to person. I am aware of some of the drawbacks this unit has, primarly that when you are using it portably on your person that you are not able to receive a live satellite signal. However you are able to record programs and play them back, much like an iPod or podcasting.

from what i gather, i would have to record Sterns' show on Monday and then I would be able to listen to it on Tuesday and just be a day late with hearing it. however, if I have the unit with me on the train, I won't be able to record the show that is on while i have the unit away from the docking station. (assuming that Stern's show is running in the morning hours like it did on terrestrial radio).

does anyone have any insight? does anyone know anyone they can forward this question to?

it's amazing what the brain retains

today i suddenly decided that i needed a Triumph's greatest hits CD. iTunes is dangerous that way. so i downloaded Classics which contains the following songs:

Tears In the Rain
Hold On*
I Live for the Weekend
Magic Power
Follow Your Heart*
A World of Fantasy*
Fight the Good Fight*
Spellbound*
Somebody's Out There
Lay It On the Line*
Rock 'n' Roll Machine

(i put an asterisk next to my favorite songs)

i would say i haven't consciously listened to a Triumph song in about 15-20 years yet, when those asterisked songs played, i new absolutely every word. amazing. i was very excited about this and was so happy. i mean, i haven't been really happy in a long time and it makes me laugh that a Triumph CD had me singing and dancing and smiling around my house.

story
of course i have a Triumph story. when i was about 16 one of my oldest friends, david, who ironically now lives in san francisco with his lady and their baby, and i went to the worcester centrum to see Triumph in concert for their Sport of Kings tour! OMG! we had THIRD row seats and for this particular tour there was a see-thru, corrigated metal, scaffolding runway and at one point rik emmet was cranking out a solo RIGHT ABOVE OUR HEADS! OMG. what makes me remember this concert so well is that the seats were those stadium, flip up chairs and when we were exiting our row to leave, i looked down between the chairs for some reason, and there was a WAD OF CASH! it was $60 in twenties. that's a lot when you're 16 and you job is working after school at a jewish bakery (hi. rock n' roll girl!). i lent David some money to buy a Triumph key chain.

this is me, at 16, in david's apartment

things that are funny

xmas music
so as i was watching the news i did not expect to hear "crazy train" by Ozzy on the news. especially from a highschool marching band at the burlingame christmas parade. interesting.

patton oswalt
this comedian continues to make me laugh. i watched a doc that he made called the "comedians of comedy." he took 3 other comedians on tour to perform at rock clubs. he thinks that comedy is not accessible to all, especially 20 somethings, since comedy clubs are expensive. so he decided to book a tour at cheaper venues. this is the punchline from one of his jokes. you'll have to see the movie to get the full joke. "if you support george bush you're a dumb girl giving out blowjobs at a state fair."

pumping gas
how ironic is it that as i was standing there pumping my gas on auto (had that little lever thing hooked so i didn't have to stand there and hold the nozzle) i was reading a sign on the pump that says:

no overpuming or topping off. if you do you will be responsible for spillage costs and possible cleanup.

i was thinking, wow. cleanup. that's gotta be a lot of gas. then i heard my nozzle click and i reached to pull it out of my car and it was still pumping and gas spewed everywhere! on my car, on the ground, on me! i quickly looked around and then hopped in my car and drove off. the best that i can figure is that the click i heard was from the car next door. nice.

ok that's all that is funny.
p.s. i have not abandoned my blog.