Grandy Ho's

After recovering from my bazillion hour workout that included a bazillion mile bike ride on Sunday, I finally got myself off the couch after an unsuccessful nap. I coulda gone either way: sleeping for 2 hours or sleeping for 20 minutes. I never really got to do either as there was some highly irritating banging noise coming from the apartment upstairs which means it may or may not have been my landlady. This noise went on for.ever and it was too long to be a "hanging pictures" noise and too mechanically spaced to be a "sex in the middle of the day" noise. I ended up losing my shit and banging on my wall and it immediately stopped. Weird.

I went to this Japanese/Sushi restaurant in Cole Valley called Grandeho's Kamekyo, on a date. I know! Weird! The best part, besides the amazing sushi and the great company, was that I thought the name of the restaurant was Grandy Ho's and I was all, what they hell kinda Japanese restaurant has a name like THAT!?! Afterwards we walked two doors down to an Irish Bar and closed the place. On a Sunday no less. Actually I think we got kicked out. The bartender was all, "Hey, I'm ready to leave whenever you guys are." Oops.

On the way home I decided to drive by Twin Peaks since I haven't been up there with my new eyes yet. It was So awesome! It was a really clear night and there were even people up there at like, midnight thirty. And for some reason, I got all weepy. I think I may have been overwhelmed by such a beautiful city. I immediately thought about going home and blogging about it but jeeze, how gay is that? But, because I was drunk-ish, I forgot all about it when I walked through the door and fell asleep while stuffing a Cliff Bar in my mouth. Hahahaha.

Did I ever tell you that my future husband is in my class with me? My school uses a cohort format so all 14 of us have been together since day one. I call this one guy my future husband because I had a crush on him for the longest time but never acted on it because, well, I knew I had to spend the next 23 months in class with him and for a myriad of reasons didn't want to be like, hey! and then have him throw up, or laugh in my face or whatever. But then the crush went away and we're just friends. But then something weird happened. He called me on the weekend and asked me what I was up to. Not asking me on a date or anything, but just like, hey what's up? Normally our contact consists of emails where we ask questions about class and insult each other along the way. Like:

Hey dork. Did you do the homework?

Yeah I did, loser.

You're the loser, can you send me a copy?

But never a phone call. So he called and was all:

MFH: Did you go out last night?
Hez: No, why?
MFH: Just wondering.
Hez: Did you?
MFH: Yeah I got trashed but I am such a lightweight now it only takes, like, 2 beers.
Hez: Loser.
MFH: What'd you do?
Hez: I was at the pool.
MFH: So you didn't go out drinking?
Hez: Uh, no.
MFH: Hi. St. Patrick's Day?!?
Hez: Amature
MFH: OK give me a call later.
Hez: Uh, ok? (hangs up and stares at phone)

Weird!

So I was in class last night. Thankfully statistics is over but now we have this stupid research class. We have to write a bazillion page paper on a research proposal. We don't have to actually conduct the research, just write about what we would do if we really had to. So I am sitting there and I pull out my cuticle oil/softener and proceed to hydrate my cuticles and the girl next to me leans over and says, that's really girly.

: l

Am I not girly? I know! Weird!

Eventful Week

Yesterday I had my first work event since I started working there. It's the graduation dinner for the med students. They call it Match Day because when when a med student graduates they pick ten hospitals or schools or whatever it is they want to do an internship or a residency? This is the day they find out what institution they got matched with. Yeah. Sorry. I didn't explain that very well.

So we have a dinner for them and present them with a diploma frame and a little name plate that they can affix onto their stethoscopes. It was fun-ish. As far as work dinners go where you are working. Out of all those doctors in the room, only one boy was worth swooning over all night. He wore a black suit with a white shirt and a metallic pumpkin colored tie. I called him the orange-tie-guy. The other note worthy thing was there was another event happening down the hall where Calvin Trillin was speaking. Guess who was attending? Sandra Day O'Connor. I ended up peeing in the bathroom stall next to her while some woman at the sinks talked about a speech she gave the week before and how much she liked it. Let the woman pee!

Today at work my boss voluteered me to work this memorial that our office put on to honor Dr. Norman Shumway. He worked at Stanford for over 50 years and was the doctor who pioneered heart transplant surgery. I volunteered as an usher and was assigned to keep people from sitting in the balcony of Memorial Church. Then I sat thru the service and listened to six of his contemporaries talk about Dr. Shumway. Everyone who spoke talked about Shumway's sense of humor and how, even tho he invented the heart transplant that, he never put on airs, hogged the media or thought he was better than anyone. He always chose people to intern under him who were better than he was. He sounded like a great man and it was an honor to be at his service. No cute men.

This past year for Christmas my uncle Bar handed out little airline sized bottles of vodka and gin. At the time I was like, what the hey? But tonight while I was digging dinner fixin's out of the fridge, little pony sized Hansen's tonic waters caught my eye and I thought, a vodka tonic would be good right now. I had tonic, I knew I had a lime but did I have vodka? I opened the freezer and on the door were two of those airline bottles! I said out loud: thank you uncle Bar! And mixed myself a drink.

PNYE 2006

It was that time of year again, to celebrate Procrastinator's New Years Eve (PNYE). This years theme was White Trash Fairy Tale and after much thinking and procrastinating (ha ha!) I finally decided on Tweaker Bell (meth addict Tinker Bell).

After my training workout, I came home and instead of taking a shower or napping, I sat at my table for 4 hours and altered my Tinker Bell costume that I got on Ebay. It was a little ill fitting and I said, Oh no problem. I can alter it. At the end of my 4th hour Misty called to check in and I told her to promise me if I ever say, Oh I'll just alter it...to slap me. It never quite came together but didn't look so bad.

The night was awesome and so much fun even though not a lot of people came out. All the costumes were fabulous and at one point I realized that in my short 2 years and 7 months here in SF I have had to purchase about 5 wigs. SF is fun!

Check out pictures here.

Drivin' n' Cryin'

Lulu will know what I am talking about, but, have you ever been in your car and listening to music and then just burst out into tears? Weird!

I was running a work errand and I was driving down the 280 and DJ iPod played Alice in Chains and the next thing you know, I was totally crying!

"Alice in Chains?" you're thinking.

Some of you may know that they came out with an atypical recording in 1994 called Jar of Flies and, whereas, their other recordings are heavy, grunge guitar masterpieces, Jar of Flies is a little quieter, more melodic and filled with beautiful harmonies.

Track 2 is Nutshell, and this is the song that set me off this afternoon and I think what made me cry was just this overwhelming feeling of being homesick. (Homesick for what or where I am not even sure). Tho I know the lyrics, I can't really say that I KNEW them. They are just a bunch of words that I sing along with so I was really surprised when I read them, just now, to see what they really said.

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home
My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can’t be my own
I’d feel better dead

Dude! I can't even stop crying now!

I don't know how people do it,

live in the South Bay and think that it's awesome.

Since I started working down here, whenever people find out that I live in the city and that I commute each day, they totally flip out. It's really not that far. It's like, 30 miles. On a Saturday I can make it here in like, 25 minutes. On a week day it's more like 35-40. Still, that's not so bad. When I lived in Boston, I commuted outside of the city to work and it was more like 90 minutes on a good day, to go 30 miles. Still, it does bug the crap outta me to drive down here. every.day.

There are some things that I like about the area.:

--Just about every road is bikeable and has bike lanes and is filled with hot biking guys.

--No sexual ambiguity! It's a totally different world down here. If I see a cute guy he's usually straight! Bonus!

--The weather. So much nicer than SF.

--Parking. Man you can park ANYWHERE! Sometimes I drive over to Palo Alto to go to Wholefoods and get stressed about finding parking and then when I get there, at the height of lunch hour, there are spaces everywhere. (this does not apply to Trader Joes)

If I had to live down here, like, if someone paid me a million dollars to do it, I would live in Palo Alto. It seems to have everything I need. Cute shops, Wholefoods, funky restaurants. Cool bars. I would consider it, you know, if someone gave me a million dollars.

Lately I am just annoyed.

Dear Photo iPod:
What is UP with you? Why do you always get stuck? My 3rd generation never did that. Lately, you've been getting stuck in on and never shut off. Once, when I was listening to Howard Stern I wanted to advance to the next show and you got stuck in the one I was listening to? My menu button was stuck. This morning your screen was stuck in "volume" mode. Sigh.

This Makes Me Mad
Intelligent Design. I'm about 4 months behind in my New Yorker stack and am just now reading this article about how a few Dover, PA highschool board members tried to have Intelligent Design integrated into the school's science curriculum. You know what? ID is CREATIONISM. This crap just makes me so mad and I don't know how to express this anger without bustin' faces. That's why you should read DJ Ted talking about stuff that makes most of us mad.

Total Awesomness

Dear Kid Rock,

I'd like to thank you for this.

Love, Hez

Let me just highlight the awesomness in this article...


NEW YORK (AP) -- Kid Rock blames Scott Stapp for losing a sex video showing them with several strippers, but appreciates Stapp for one thing.

"What perfect timing," Rock told The Associated Press in an interview Wednesday. "I got a record coming up ... Maybe I should thank him."

The hard-partying rap-rocker, whose new live concert album "Live Trucker" hit stores Tuesday, defended his backstage antics, saying, "It's not any big revelation that this goes on in rock 'n' roll, especially with who I am."

Still, Rock (aka Robert Ritchie) has fired back against Stapp's claim that the tape was stolen, saying the former Creed singer filmed the tape, which was made in Rock's motor home in 1999, and is responsible for losing it.

"He's the idiot because it's out," the 35-year-old Rock said. "I'm holding him responsible."

Rock has won a temporary court order preventing World Wide Red Light District from distributing or promoting the video.

Red Light, which sold the Paris Hilton sex tape in 2004, had displayed a 40-second preview clip of the video on its Web site. The company has acknowledged that the tape came from a third party, but denied it was stolen.

"At this point, I don't even care," said Rock, who said he hasn't spoken to Stapp since the tape was filmed. He's upset, though, that someone might make money from the tape. "If there's money to be made, it's my performance" he said.

In a recent interview with AP Radio, Stapp, 32, said he thinks the sex video was stolen from him and is meant to destroy his career.

Rock scoffed at that notion: "I'm like, what are you talking about? This tape gets out -- it's your tape -- and you're (saying) someone's trying to sabotage your career?"

Rock said he invited Stapp to join him and four strippers after Stapp entered his motor home with a video camera and asked to "get in" on the action.

"'I only got two beers left,"' Rock said, describing what he deemed to be his gracious behavior toward Stapp, whom he had never met. "'You can have one.' How nice is that?"

He said he's further upset to be associated with sex tape scandal subjects Hilton, Colin Farrell and ex-girlfriend Pamela Anderson.

"I don't want to be in that company with all these idiots (who have) sex tapes, which is why I've never had a video camera," he said. "I agree I knew the tape was going on at the time -- I must have. Although, I'll guarantee you, I wasn't sober."

...I think this is grounds for a little rock face off. White Trash vs. Bible Trash? Working Class Coast vs. Bible Belt Coast? Son of Detroit vs. Son of God?

More Annoying Things

Can't The Mars Volta ever make a song that is under TEN MINUTES!?!?!

I *heart* them so much tho. Sometimes I fall in love with singers because of the way they sing or the words they use.

I realize that my posts have been lacking, but, it's all about training right now, kinda.

Leave the Poor Guy Alone

CBS is retarded.

I just don't understand why they would actively participate in running Stern off the air and out of their company and then STILL not feel vindicated and turn around and now say that oh, well...he violated some something or other. Obviously they are very jealous that Howard didn't flounder and drown on Sirius and of his success and want to "stick it to him" one last time. UGH!

Today, I Predict a Series of Posts of Things That Annoy the Crap Outta Me

Gum Art

What is up with this!?! Hi!?!? You're TWELVE. You should know better than to STICK GUM on a painting in a museum. UGH!