The Week In Alcohol

I suddenly decided, that in preparation for running the San Francisco half marathon, the best training regime was to go out drinking 6 days in a row.

Sigh.

Monday I was having a little "breakdown" and went over to Lyne's to play Scrabble and drink wine. Drank too much, up too late.




Tuesday was my last class ever and we all decided to hit the Pig & Whistle for some beers and really bad bar food. (hey those aren't onion rings! they're giant squid things!) Drank too much, up too late.

Mary, Jen, Stacey, Malaak, Javier, Sherrie, Hez, Cassandra

Cassandra and Hez

Linda, Malaak, Hez and Dana

Wednesday I went out to dinner. Drank not so much but was up waaaay too late.

Thursday while I was crashing at work and peeling my forehead off my keyboard, I decided it was probably a good night to stay in and catch up on my FauxVo queue. Big night in watching Big Brother, Project Runway, and So You Think You Can Dance.

Friday, even though I stayed in the night before, I was still a mess at work and came home with the hopes of getting a little nap in before...I WENT OUT. Didn't happen and off I went to Lyne's for a pre-pub drink before we headed off to The Argus to support DJ Cadillac. Ian met us there and Holly too and we all ended up meeting some new people and chatting all night. DJ Cadillac (aka Jim) was amazing! He played so many awesome songs I haven't heard in a while including Emeline from Urge Overkill. I almost peed my pants when I heard that song. It's SO good and I think, sadly, the last time I heard it was in the Sports Basement while I was shopping. I can't wait til he DJ's again! Drank too much, home way too late.

Ian and two silly girls

Holly and Ian

DJ Cadillac

Slept til 11am on Saturday and finally made my way down to the Embarcadero to register for the race. Got my free bars and gels and came home asap as being hungover in a crowd of people is no fun! I carbo loaded with spaghetti and Grandma Gloria's spaghetti sauce (carried all the way from Buffalo by my mom and then stockpiled in my freezer), took a Tyenol PM and was asleep by 10pm. To be...

Up at 4:45am to get ready for the 13.1 mile race. Eeeee! Susan and Bill picked me up and off we went to the start. The first 2 miles sucked ass. By the time I got to the bridge I was pretty warmed up and I ended up flying over it. I waited for Susan on the other side at the water stop and then we headed back over. I felt pretty good the rest of the way. My hips were tight as usual and my right ankle was kinda hurty, but I pushed on. About 20 feet from the finish line my little water bottle butt pack thing accidentally unclipped while we were sprinting. Then as I was trying to hold it on and display my race bib for the photo finish, my hat fell off the belt as I had it clipped there, and of course as I leaned over to pick it up, my water bottle fell out of the holster. My finish line photo will be of me flailing all over the place and picking shit up. I finished in 2:56 which is super slow but whatever. I finished.

I came home, took a shower and made a bagel egg sandwhich and then watched movie after movie while kinda dozing. The Others? Hi. Surprise ending. Hidalgo? Awwww. Pics Here

Weekend of Champions

My weekend started on Thursday when Cassandra organized a dinner with one of our professors/chair of our program, Richard Stackman. Mary and Malaak joined us and we had a yummy dinner at Nopa. I was feeling a little weird because my first glass of wine made me dizzy like it was spiked with ruffies. Dinner was still fabu-yum. Afterwards, after Stackman left, we stood on the corner of Divis and Hayes and gossiped about things. Home by 10pm.

Friday was Lynnie-loos belated birthday dinner at La Rondalla. People in attendance: Jim, Scott, Willo, Mario and Kristin. We had several pitchers of margaritas and some relatively yummy mexican food. Of course anything covered in cheese and sauce is brilliant and, of course, Lyne is the only person I know who can invite people to her birthday dinner and show up and not order food because she already ate.

Oh Lyne.

After dinner we headed over to Medjool to take advantage of the warm weather and hang out on their roof deck. This is my favorite photo of the night:

I have no idea what was going on here but, obvs, Scotty is my new jew-crush. He is also from Boston and in the course of conversation, we discovered that we both had a crush on the same girl in the early 90's. Awesome, except he got to make out with her and I only got to randomly hug her now and then during our headbanging to Wargasm.

I managed to keep the alcohol mildly under control as I had to be up around 8am to get ready for a run with Susan. We were looking at 8 miles with hills. Needless to say, I was mildly hungover the next morning and the incredible heat made it AWESOME. Ugh. Good thing I pounded 32 oz of gatorade the night before and 32 oz the morning of.

You may remember that Dan the Jew found the best thing ever for us to do on Saturday afternoon. Wizard Rock. Namely, Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfloys. They are both from Massachusetts and on a national tour of libraries. We arrived just in time to the lawn out in front of City Hall to see Draco and the Malfloys take the stage. They introduced themselves as being 15 and 19, and honestly, the bald guy? Try 35. These two guitarist played to drum and bass tracks and rocked the house! They had an insane pop sensibility, dreamy vocals and metal solos. What. could. be. better. NOTHING. Their songs were amazing were it not for the fact that everything was about the Harry Potter books. The level of geeky fantasticness was off the scale.

Draco and the Malfloys: NOT 15 and 19

Harry Potter Fashion

Jumping Wizard Rock Boys

I decided to check out the shirts because I saw some pretty cute ones in the audience and, as I was walking across the lawn, I heard someone yell my name. What the? It was Dan with who I had an hour long conversation about running at Willo's birthday party. We both stood there at a complete loss for words to comment what we were witnessing. It was mostly teens. And I simultaneously felt really happy for them that they all had a place to go, a commonality in Harry and the Potters/Draco, and an extreme love of fantasy...but... on the other hand...I think I made fun of people like this in highschool. I, of course, am leaps and bounds beyond that now (well, errr) but it was just really unsettling since I was thinking of how I was when I was 14 or 15. You've seen the pictures. I was a full-fledged metal head and really felt much older then, than these kids looked to me now. I will confess, Ronnie James Dio is not that far off from Harry Potter mysticism.

Harry and the Potters finally came on and the crowd went berserk. These kids knew all the words. It was amazing. HatP's are two brothers from Newton, MA, I would say around 14 and 16. They rap, they rock, they rockabilly and they work the crowd up in to a frenzy with their between song showmanship. They were basically two rapping jews from newton and they were fabulous. I bought a shirt.

Sunday I was supposed to be writing my final paper for my final class ever and the loverly Carolyn pinged in and asked if I was going to the Woodside Friends pool.

Hez: no
Carolyn: why not?
Hez: i gotta write this paper and i have house stuff to do.
Carolyn: ian wants you to drive him
Hez: i can’t go
Carolyn: ok

(phone rings, I see its Ian and answer)

Hez: I’m not going
Ian: come on!
Hez: I can’t. I have house stuff to do
Ian: Loosah
Hez: everytime I go there I am wasted in less than two hours and by the time dinner rolls around I have no idea what I ate or where I ate it.
Ian: the trick is to not stay for dinner
Hez: sigh
Ian: we’ll go taco hunting on the way
Hez: ok

We spent the afternoon by the pool and were home 6pm. I bought a shirt. Just kidding.

My Own Private Project Runway...and other things.

Last night I used this free pass I got to see an advanced screening of the new Oliver Stone film, World Trade Center. I was skepticle of this movie, and fully expected to see some Hollywood cheese, but since I am attracted to all things 9-11 I was, nonethless, interested. The loverly Cassandra accompanied me and I was psyched about this since it is really our first chance we've had to hang out outside of school.

The movie is told from the point of view of two Port Authority police men who were trapped in the rubble of the WTC, and their families, while they waited to be rescued. It was ok. Kinda cheesy in spots and Steven Dorf is virtually unrecognizeable as a police man. Nicolas Cage looks the same as always, and Maggie Gyllenhall was unusually "hunchy," if you know what I mean. That girl has the osteoporosis humpback in her future.

After the movie, C and I were paying for our parking at the garage next to the Metreon when I spied someone looking very familiar in a (signature) crisp white shirt, leather vest, black jeans and cowboy boots wrestling with his own pay machine and entourage. I instantly recognized who it was and grabbed Cassandra by the arm and pulled her away from the machines and hissed, "Do you watch Project Runway?" And she's like, Yeah sometimes. And I hissed back, " Nick at 3 o' clock. " And then Cassandra laughed because she thought, by the way I whisked her away, that something was really wrong. Oh, something WAS really wrong. Why was Project Runway happening in my reality!?! And then I got really confused. I knew I wasn't in NY or LA but my brain took, like, 15 seconds to figure that out and then deal with why Nick was in SF.

I am so uselessly starstruck in these situations. I can remember once, at an Urban Outfitters in Harvard Square, I endlessly followed Elizabeth around the store and hid behind clothing displays to call my friend Karen.

Anyways...

Dan the Jew has brought to my attention the most amazing event happening on Saturday afternoon in San Francisco. Harry and the Potters, who are doing a nationwide tour of libraries!, are playing the 3rd annual wizard rock show at the SFPL at 2pm. How can you resist seeing this band? They have songs like "This Book is so Awesome." Awesometastic! So going.

And with any luck, making it over to the summer homeless event, I mean Cyclecide.

Come join me if you have the balls!

I Just Can't Do It Right Now...

...you know. Life?

I might want to mention that I was (am) experiencing the most vengefull PMS in about a year. Stella is, like, two weeks off and I am already eating everything in sight, crying the moment I wake up and having to double sports bra-it when I run. Stupid uterous.

I'm back in Hermitville too. On one hand, hanging out with the party peeps keeps me out of my head. On the other hand, quieting that head with vats of alcohol isn't really good either. So I backed out of plans on Friday and decided to make cookies for my running pals' house warming the following night. Came home, did my stretch video, made some dough, ate half the dough, decided not to cut out cookies and then hopped on the couch to watch both last weeks Big Brother shows and the results show for So You Think You Can Dance. "I'll cut the cookies out tomorrow, " she said as she fastforwarded through the commercials.

On Saturday I woke up relatively early to pick up Susan for our "long run." Let me just say, double digits people. We started our run at the corner of Stanyan and McLaren Lodge, ran out to the ocean, turned left and headed to the Zoo, turned around and came back. That's 11 miles. Here, let me spell that out for you: E-L-E-V-E-N. You know, Susan and I are pretty slow runners and we walk some, here and there, like when we're eating a snack or trudging through sand dunes that have covered the walkway, and at about hour 2 I was all, when does this end? At hour 2:30 my legs wouldn't even work to step up on a curb. Luckily, we were done.

I went home, made a yummy breakfast burrito sans tortilla and sat on my couch *briefly* to watch the news and totally said to myself...self, I said, "You are not allowed to take a nap. If you do you WILL NOT have time to cut out, bake and frost the cookies before Susans' party." So instead of getting an awesome 2-3 hour nap in I half dozed/watched TV for FOUR HOURS. Sigh. I was sooo sleepy tho. Needles to say, cookies did not get finished. I brought beer instead.

Susan bought a house with a bunch of peoples (TIC) close to my neighborhood and was having a few friends over for her housewarming. Her place was really cute and it was nice to be at a party where I knew no one. Sometimes, when I am being a hermit, I can actually still party and be one because no one is expecting a certain Hez-ness when they don't know you. So after three beers, Susan approaches me and says, "I know I don't know you that well but, now that I have some alcohol in me, I need to ask you a question." And instinctively I had an idea what that question might be and was confirmed but still surprised when she asked me, "Do you swing both ways?" I can't tell you how fast my brain ran through a scenario/outcome of me having sex with Susan and her boyfriend and how that would affect our running and how the hell I was going to get out of it and as I was standing there looking across the room at her BF and thinking...eh...not bad...she said, "Because my friend Lisa is really into you." HAHAHAHA. Home by 10:30pm and no gay or three-way sex.

Sometime last week I decided I needed a desk. Most of you don't know that in my other life in Boston I was a creative/creative non-fiction writer. Then I moved to a new apartment right before coming out here and lost my writing mojo. Or more accurately, my place to do it. Or more succinctly, a conducive apartment to do it in. Then I sold my desk. Ohhh, it wasn't that practical anyway, but here I am almost 4 years later thinking, gosh I wish I didn't sell that desk and gosh, I wish I had written something in the last 4 years.

So desk it was and I started trolling Craigslist for what I had visualized in my head. I have very limited space and I was picturing something closer to a table rather than something with drawers etc. I was planning on putting it in my bedroom after some strategic current furniture removal. And I found something! This guy had four 70's era school tables which had a 2x4 flat top and two metal pedastal legs for just $12 and he still had one left. I made plans with him to drive to his place on Sunday by 10:30am. Did I mention he lives in Petaluma?

Uh, yeah. It wasn't until I committed that I figured out Petaluma is about 40 miles away. That's ok. I like an 80 mile road trip, for a ten second visit, once in a while. I had no idea what to expect of this table selling guy but as he described his house he said, "It has a giant American flag out front." Okayeee. He also sent me highly detailed and creative maps/directions to his house and at the bottom of each email was colorful info about how Firefox is a lot safer than IE and how he fixes computers and shit and when he asked me if Sunday morning at 10:30 was ok and would it interfere with church or something and it took all my will to not guffaw into the phone, well, I had a very militia-like image of Richard the table seller in my head. Turns out he was a nice congenial grandpa and when I panicked at the giant legs on the table and if it would fit in my hatchback, he kindly wrenched them off.

The trip in all took about 2 and a half hours and I got the table right in the backyard and hosed it off, wiped it down and then assembled it. Then I had to go about creatively reorganizing my room which meant throwing lots of stuff out. I have one of those spots that collects all the stuff you don't want to deal with at a certain moment. Lately, I've been feeling really weighed down by all the material stuff I have and weighed down by all the extra weight I have and weighed down by all the emotional crap I have.

Sunday was the start of losing the weightyness and I went through my closet and pulled out all the stuff that I hold onto for reasons like, I bought it in Italy 9 years ago and it was on sale so why would I ever think of getting rid of it even though I've worn it once and felt like a total fraud because it was turquoize and brown. Or because I might wear it someday. In the near or distant future. When Jupiter is alligned with Mars. And all those clothes I have that I might fit into one day. Especially those cords that I was only able to wear once 6 years ago, that even then required me to have some intricate safety pin system in order to keep them on while not buttoning the top button and to prevent the zipper from going down because, well, they didn't actually really fit to begin with, they were just a real pretty color, but there's still a holdout of hope because I was able to wear them once...during the break-up diet three three years ago and maybe, JUST MAYBE I might be able to wear them again! So, um, that's not working out.

They all went into a plastic bag and are waiting for thier first ever West Coast Clothing Swap. And I got my desk into place and was still able to keep that shelf that collects things, though now it's cleaned out. And it looks pretty good. So maybe I'll start writing again.

A Man After My Own (Metal) Heart

Last week I was obsessively trolling the web for the unrequited love of my life, when I happened upon THE BEST BLOG EVER. Well, best in terms of Metalness. And then I immediately fell in love with him. Some of you may agree that it's almost as if I wrote that post.

Anyways, as I kept scrolling down the list, I realized that I have seen all of those bands live from 1982-1991 (or so). Now that is an amazing feat, especially when you consider I was 12 in 1982 and my parents were letting me go to concerts by. my. self. Silly parents. I also ended up with concert shirts from all of those shows which I (sometimes I think foolishly) sold on eBay before I moved out here. Oh you know, I kept the important onces like: Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, DOKKEN (hey, the shirt fit really well). At times, though, I do wish I had held on to my Accept shirt. Or my Dio jersey...

In other news, Andee introduced me to Thoughts of an Angry Black Man which will probalby bring Bloggers' server to its knees because its in circulation right now.

In other OTHER news, the weekend was cool. Friday night I met up with Lyne and Jim and her German visitor, Mario, for a quick round of drinks at Doc's Clock. Saturday I cleaned my apartment and then headed dowtown for some superfluous shopping. Actually I went to exchange a shirt at H&M, couldn't find it inthe sotre anymore and then looked at the register line and walked out. Almost made it home without spending large amounts of cash, but was swept into Macy's at the last minute and walked out with THREE pairs of jeans. Gah! Damn you consumerism! A little later that day I met Lyne and Mario at Zeitgeist and Dan the Jew joined us to experience an afternoon city-style. More beer and burgers, yay!

Sunday I got myself out of bed and prepped for a ride out on Paradise Loop. Silly me thought it was just under 25 miles. Turns out it's actually just under THIRTY-FIVE, well when you consider getting over the Golden Gate etc. We left at 9:30am and got back at 1pm. Hi. Tired. The loverly Carolyn joined our rag-tag group: June, Jessica, Matt and Matt (I swear this kid was autistic) and me and it was a really great ride but goddam I hate those hills so much. June dropped me off at home, I ate the leftover half of my spicy chicken super quesadilla and promptly passed out for 3 hours.

I Was Jacked On My Nutter Butters!

I Was Jacked On My Nutter Butters!, originally uploaded by hezcatt.

Today I indulged myself in a treat and grabbed a mini pack of Nutter Butters after lunch. It's the pack that has 4 cookies in it. When I was back at my desk, I had one cookie that was broken and missing half of its filling and I was all, hmmm. But as I got to the last one, it had NO filling? What the hey man?

July Fourth: Wasted Again

Can I get wasted just one. more. day?

I started the day off with a 6 mile run with Susan. We did the Land's End Trail and you know what? It was still hard. I was so stiff from the run on Sunday but it worked out nicely. I got back home and rang up Lynie-Loo to see if she was still into heading up to Mill Valley with me to have an informal get together at (the very hott) Carolyn and Michael's....and she was. After trying to NOT fall asleep after my run and having some chow, I got ready, Cala'd and gas'd and grabbed Lyne.

Once there some peeps went on a hike and since I had no intention of hiking to anywhere that didn't involve a keg, I stayed behind with Lyne and Ian and we played a never ending game of Scrabble. Next thing you know, we're wasted.

Then we're eating.

Then we're laying on the floor making our own Vanity Fair cover.

Then we're swapping music.

Then we're driving home.

Then we're stopped on the overpass off the Golden Gate Bridge watching the fireworks from the middle lane.

Then we're being chased away by the cops.

Then I am waking up waaay too early.

Then I am suffering through work and trying to peel my face off my keyboard.

Then I am home.

Then I am snooooooze....

Pics here.

Another Stellar Week(end)

When did my weekend start?

Friday night. I went over to Carlo's with the promise of bowling but we ended up staying in and enjoying a bottle of wine and talking and then grabbing a late night snack at the Video Cafe on Geary. It was a great night and we had a much needed night of reconnecting. Metal on the way home. Blogging til 3am about TV. Up at 9:30am to...

...pick up Lyne at 10am to head on up to Lake Sonoma. A quick trip to Lucca's and Cala and we were on the road. It was really foggy and crappy in SF but at about an hour into our trip, off came the hoodies and down went the windows. Once we reached Lake Sonoma we melted in the 90 degree weather. No, not really. It was soooo nice to be warm and to have to, intermitantly, run to the water to cool off. We had some super yummy treats of fabulous bread, avocado and goat gouda with some ice cold Fat Tires. We headed out around 4pm and I rushed back to the city to make a 6:30pm dinner for Ali's parents at Tsunami. Luckily, the dinner was pushed to 7pm and I was able to pickup JoJo and not even be late!

Willo, Misty, Jojo, Ali, me and Ali's parents had a yummy sushi dinner and Misty, JoJo and I headed over to Medrone to meet up with Pauline and Becky. Ali and Willo headed to the Independent to see Band of Horses. I tried to get tickets but it just didn't happen. It was just as well since I was pretty exhausted from laying in the sun for hours. Ted came around and whisked Misty away to the show. I drove JoJo to the Castro and headed home to be in bed at a respectable hour since...

...I had to get up at 7am to get ready for a run with June. I picked her up and we headed out to the Lands End trail head. The weather was pretty crappy out but we braved the cold and the wind and the fog rain and ran the almost 6-ish mile jaunt. It was pretty hard since the terrain is varied and I haven't really done anything (other than that Pride 5k) since my race. Once we got to Baker Beach we were verbally assaulted by some crazy-esque biker guy who said: "It's a really beautiful view but it's kinda nipple-y." You know what? I don't really want to hear "nipple-y" coming out of an old guys' mouth directed at me....

...then as June and I were taking a moment and stretching before we headed back, the guy came over with some roses for us and some words of Godly wisdom. Sigh, crazy people. I really, really try to be open to them because they are teaching me something...even if it's just to be present in being open to them. I think I did good. We headed back off to the car. Then on to Koret to shower and then down to the Metreon to grab some yummy breakfast at Mel's and a 10:30am showing of The Devil Wears Prada.

Some of you may know that I worked for the management company that managed Aerosmith. I'm not really allowed to talk about it but let's just say... A LOT of things that were in that movie touched dangerously close to home. So much so that I really thought that whoever wrote the book/movie stole a classic "boss from hell" story from me. Two words: Miami and hurricane. My jaw hit the floor.

After the movie I came home and did some cleaning. I was just about to delve into organizing my closet and dresser and the Lesbians called to invite me to Zeitgeist. Saved by the bell! I was all, I'll be there in 15 minutes! Once there I got to know Pauline and Becky a bit more. I have hung out with them for two years or so but we never really went into a deeper level and it was so cool to learn more about them. I saw Paul, my hairstylist, and waved him over. He was with some hottie so I just said hey and let him go on his way. I always feel like he is looking at my hair and thinking: wtf is she doing to it!?!?

I had to work on Monday, which is the biggest drag of all time, but I knew I had a pool party at Woodside Laura and Jason's and I just had to make it through to 2pm before I snuck out. Lyne was gonna come with me and I suggested she take Caltrain but the timing didn't work out for her and she ended up driving and then ended up having her car break down in Daly City. Such sadness since it was SO.NICE. to sit by a pool with good people and awesome food and booze. Let's just say, homemade ceviche, homemade mozerella, tomato and basil panini, blue cheese and carmelized onion mashed potatoes and a yummy salad. I drank waaay too much which is a common theme when I visit the Woodside peeps. Metal on the way home. Blogging; Making the Band; Run's House; Supergroup.

Tomorrow I am meeting up with Susan and we are running Lands End and then I am heading off to Carolyn and Michaels' up in Marin for a 4th little party thing. Hey, you know what I hate about the 4th of July...people who think they can light off fireworks on every day up to and after the 4th...wtf?!?!

pictures here.

I Love The Internet

First of all thank you Karrie for bringing MyHeritage.com to my attention.

What MyHeritage does is, once you upload a picture to its site, it will tell you what celebrity you resemble most. Kid Kani has taken the second best picture of me in all the world and this is the photo I chose:

Eagles of Hez

And this is who they think I resemble! Not only do I think: NATURALLY! of course I look like Christina Aguillara, but I also think that I love that MyHeritage picked up the girl behind me and thinks that she looks like Kevin Kline. heh.

Some other things of note, if Misty is in a picture with me MyHeritage will always highlight her face (Gerri Halliwell, Calista Flockhart) in the photo and mine won't exist. I wanted to test the accuracy and uploaded two other photos pf myself (one with Joe and they think he looks like Mel Gibson) and MyHeritage said I also looked like Elisha Cuthbert and Daryl Hannah. You know what? I'll take that.

Update! I didn't realize that there was an arrow that allowed you to scan through other celebrities you resemble (I was just uploading different pictures) and I also found out that I look like: Kylie Minogue, Liv Tyler, Christopher Lambert, Tom Petty, Selma Blair, Heidi Klum, Keanu Reeves and Abhishck Bachchan...um, that guy is pretty hot.

What Else Am I FauxVoing?

This summer is such a TV desert. All my standby shows are slowly falling off my queue one by one and the next thing you know my FauxVo is only 13% full when just a mere 2 months ago I was pushing 98% and was feverishly trying to get through my 18 queued episodes of Starting Over to free up room.

In an effort to have brain numbingness on hand I have been forced to add a few second class shows to my schedule:

So You Think You Can Dance
Fox Wednesday and Thursday at 8pm
Thousands of hopefulls try out and only 20 are chosen, paired up and having to pick a new dance each week from a hat. Watch as a ballroom trained belle tries to crunk. A pop-locker tries the merengue and a contemporary pro tries the hip=hop all with a partner.

Last Comic Standing 4
NBC (check local listings for schedule)
You may remember the last season when Ant won? No? Well, back for a fourth time around thousands of hopefulls audition and only twelve are chosen. Forced to live on The Queen Mary off the coast of LA, they compete in comedic challenges to win immunity each week and select two to battle head to head to stay in the game by claiming, "I am funnier than..." The audience chooses the winner and the losahh goes home until they've whittled themselves down to...(drum roll)...The Last Comic Standing.

Honey We're Killing The Kids
TLC Mondays at 9pm
Dr. Lisa Hark helps families get their eating habits under control and introduces exercise and behavioral modifications after the parents are shown a computer rendering of what their children will look like at age 40 if they continue on the path of bad habits. Fear and guilt tactics? Why yes. Watch as the first week the kids throw giant sized tantrums at not having ho-hos. The second week the parents throw a tantrum at all the extra work it takes to prepare healthy meals and to actually exercise as a family and the third week when it all comes together.

Run's House
MTV Thursdays at 9:30pm
Reverend Run, from Run DMC, gives up his privacy to show the world how he and his family live. Yelling, screaming, whining, rapping and love go around as Run rules the household. Did you know he has five kids? Each episode is finished with Run in his morning bath texting the virtues of what he has learned the day before on his Sidekick II.

Making The Band III
MTV Thursdays at 9pm
Last season five lovely ladies were chosen as the object of P-Diddy's new desire: The Perfect 'Band.' This season they learn to live together and find out what makes each of them tick as they supress their desires to solo and become a team. (They are no O-Town.)

The 4400
USA Sundays at 9pm
From as early as the 1950's 4400 humans have gone missing. Last season these people were mysteriously returned to earth, from having been abducted, and it turns out, not from aliens but from future humans! Each 4400 is returned with a special gift and as these gifts become discovered and feared by us regular humans, the government steps in and creates and adminsters a syrum, unknowingly to the 4400, to prevent their special powers from working. This season the 4400 find out about the government plot to control them, form a movement and end the drugging, and try to figure out what their destiny is and why they were sent back. Is it to save the world? Or take over it?

Fast Inc.
MTV Mondays at 10:30pm
Todd Ashley is a finder of cars, a purveyor of dreams. Heh. Located in LA Todd, Christian and Tater are at the whim of their very wealthy clients who request something like a 1964 BMW series II, cream with tan interior with an AUTOMATIC transmission...in five days. Not likely. Or perhaps a 1970's mint condition Astin Mini Cooper with LEFT SIDE DRIVE...in four? No way. Except at Fast Inc, they DO find them and everyone is happy. Yay!

Hell's Kitchen
Fox Mondays at 8pm
Chef Gordon Ramsay is back for a second season of berating and bashing and bad mouthing his chefs in training. It's girls against boys this time and up for grabs is a million dollar restaurant in a bazillion dollar casino in Vegas. (Note: the cute guy has already been eliminated)