Seattle 15 Years Too Late

This past weekend I was in Seattle for work. I've never been to Seattle so was pretty excited to check it out and to get out of SF for a bit.

I got in on Saturday afternoon and my hotel room wasn't ready so I wandered around the downtown shopping area which looked remarkably like SF's downtown shopping area. Even tho I had on long sleeves, I immediately set to work to look for a sweater. I brought a jacket with me but it was just a light little thing and I wanted something more substantial. I settled on a fleece from Old Navy (hi, $16!) and headed back to the hotel. My hotel room was on the 28th floor and I immediately became obssessed about the view for some reason. I took about 50 pictures of it.



You know how it always looks better in person? Uh yeah.

Saturday night after dinner I shook off my earlier apprehension and decided to look for a bar to hang out in to check out the locals etc. I was staying in the downtown area and though it is kind of like downtown SF, it seemed a lot cleaner and safer. However, there weren't really any bars to speak of. In fact, there wasn't much going on and sometimes I wouldn't even know that I was walking by a restaurant because the lighting was just so different. Everything seemed very secretive or low key. I decided then to walk to the water since I was not so far from it. Everything was relatively fine until I turned the corner onto 1st street and discovered the seedy area. It's weird how that is. I decided to head back and ran into this homeless guy, Fred. He told me this fantastical story about how he was sitting there on that wall because a general in the army had parked his truck on the street and asked the guy to watch it (Fred then pointed out official looking army stickers on the truck). Fred also told me he was from South Boston where Marky Mark and New Edition were from and that he was in Seattle because his hoity-toity sister is a heart surgeon, he never got to the point of that because then he went on to say that he works in Portland on some fishing boats and then will go to another area for work. I gave him a dollar and kept waiting to be jumped as a homeless lady came up and kept trying to interrupt Fred's story for cash. I decided to head back after that.

Living here in SF and working down on the Peninsula, I forget that other places have weather that "happens" through out the day. And on Sunday morning I experienced that full on.

I got up early and walked down to the Public Market, which I was dying to go to from seeing Jeff Smith on PBS all those years ago (I don't believe he was a pedophile). It was a really gray and cold-ish day. The market wasn't really that exciting so I started walking and saw a line out the door of a bakery. I went over and there were the most yummiest looking treats. Of course I got in line. I went through Belltown, which I think is an area that I would hang out in if I lived there. I looked to my right and there was the Space Needle a few blocks up. Why the hell not? I thought, so I turned in that direction, bought my $14 ticket and rode up. I was a little irritated at the Starbucks that was there at the top but, I guess that is, ultimately, what tourists know of Seattle. It started to rain a little but I braved the weather that was "happening" and took some pics. It was gray for miles around.

When I got to the bottom it was pouring. There were a bunch of Japaneses students who were in a choir or something and for some reason they were all huddled and squatting down outside the entrance. I think, maybe this is how they sit when the chaperones want to talk to them. I didn't have an umbrella but was lucky enough to grab a taxi that was dropping someone off and headed back to the hotel. I might want to mention that it was still raining and still gray. I got into the hotel and by the time it took the elevator to take me to the 28th floor, and for me to walk through my room door, it was sunny and beautiful out. I stood there for a minute really confused because about 60 seconds ago it was pouring and horribly overcast. I kept walking over to the window and looking out for the evidence of gray clouds but there were none. Weird.

Then I took a nap. I'm not sure if it was the time change but I was kind of in a haze the whole time and felt like doing some serious napping. It might have been the weather too.

Sunday night was my event and it went pretty good. Then Monday morning I was back on a plane to San Francisco. Some things I really loved about Seattle was it seemed like they built a city in the middle of a forest. That was interesting to see. I also loved that the men were real men. I've been trying to articulate what I mean by that and I think a co-worker came up with some of what I mean. I feel that the men in SF can sometimes be too into themselves. Or too concerned with fashion or how they look.

As an example, when I parked in longterm parking at SFO there was this guy who was waiting for the elevator with me and he started talking to me. Probably around my age. Kinda nice looking and friendly and he kept engaging me in the elevator, on the shuttle, at the check in counter etc. And then I saw that he was wearing Seven Jeans. Now, Seven Jeans, though they make men's jeans, are primarily a women's jean company. Their whole shtick is that they look good on any woman. They are really expensive about $104-$180. I think they also have some kind of revolutionary way about how the butt part is sewn and that they make your butt look good. Anyway, I find itabsolutely ridiculous and self involved for a GUY to buy Seven Jeans since 1) they don't have the same "you'll look awesome in them" quality as the women's jeans do, 2) men don't wear skin tight jeans so the butt thing is null and void, 3) then that means that they are spending about$150 on JEANS. I don't really want my guy to spend more on his jeans than I do.

So I guess that was my jeans rant. At any rate, I felt the men in Seattle were real men and at one point, when I was leaving the sandwich shop, a guy walked by me and I thought, wow he was a real man! And then I glanced into a car at a stoplight and there was another rugged looking guy and then another! I was kind of freaking out. It's very complicated.

I felt like people in Seattle were really tall. I also wondered a lot what it was like when the whole grunge scene was taking off. How that would've been really awesome to be there and involved in that. It made me think of my friend Karen, who was living in LA at the time that Guns n' Roses exploded onto the scene. She got to see them at a radio station Christmas show and she has always said that that was one of the most amazing concerts she has been to.

Neighborhood Poopers

I saw one! My first Neighborhood Pooper!

This morning as I was getting ready for the gym at the ungodly hour of 6am, I went to my front door to look for Ben. He had spent the night out last night and I wanted to get him inside for some breaksfast. At my front door, which has a giant glass panel, I saw a ton of people on the street for that early. In the gloom of just before dawn, a few men were wheeling their shopping carts in the street. Two other men were walking by on the sidewalk one in front of each other. The one in the back started to lag behind and I could see he was making those unmistakeable gestures of unbuckling his pants. He briefly looked around, approached the curb and stood in between two cars. I thought, ugh, is that guy gonna pee RIGHT IN THE STREET!?!

...and then he turned around, pushed his pants down and SQUATTED! Oh no he DINT!!!

I opened my door and thought that the noise of that would get his attention but it didn't. So now I was faced with having to say something. I mean. Apparently it IS an epidemic if the department of Public works is issuing posters about it. I stepped into the doorway and I used this sentence that I have been DYING to use ever since I read it on someone's blog (sorry I can't think of who!) and they used it on the subway with some young boys who were making graffitti. So I stepped into the doorway and said:

"Please don't!" **

The guy looked around for who said that and then saw me standing up my steps in the door and made some noises like, "oh, uh, oh" and then hiked his pants back up and walked away. Then Ben and I went in.

I was a little uneasy after that. Usually, my neighborhood is no big deal. But lately the creepiness factor has been upped. Nevermind that I find hypodermic needles in my front gardens, I expect that since I live near a "crack park." And never mind that someone broke into my apartment a year and a half ago, I took preventative measures for that. But one morning as I was leaving for the gym, I saw someone curled up in a blanket on the walkway that leads to our backyard. The person was sleeping against the gate, which is flush with the house. That kinda creeped me out. Then the other night I was throwing my trash out in the garage. The driveway is lined with chest height embankments that have some flora planted in them. Right at the junction of the stone wall and garage, there was a condom wrapper. Ok I can deal with that. But when I looked closer there was also the USED condom. Eeew! As if someone wedged themselves in the corner of the garage and wall and my landlady's car and HAD SEX....right under my front neighbors bedroom window. OMG.

Anyways, back in my house I started to get nervous. I was ready to leave for the gym but I didn't want to run into The Pooper on the way to my car. So I stalled a bit and then was angry that some guy pooping in front of my house was messing with how secure I feel in my neighborhood. Then I started to think, well what if he retaliates? What if he poops ON MY STEPS? Or in front of my door? Then I heard my landlady start her car and realized she was out there too and I left.

As soon as I opened the door I could smell that I did not thwart The Pooper in anyway. He didn't poop in front of my house but he did poop somewhere on the route to my car. AND it was psyching me out! I kept feeling like I was stepping in stuff. And I kept second guessing my memory that there was no poop on my front steps, but that there actually was and I had walked THROUGH it. I kept checking my sneakers. It was amazing how the smell covered an area of about a quarter block or 5 houses. I kept wondering where he ended up pooping. Maybe he utilized the construction dumpster in front of my neighbors' house? Maybe he used one of my side gardens? I had seen poop there before but always thought it was from some dog with a lazy owner. But now, I realize, it might be human poop.

I also kept wondering if this sort of thing happens in NY or Boston? I don't ever remember thinking that humans might be pooping in those neighborhoods. Is this a West Coast thing?

** I know this line sounds completely inane but I am really bad with coming up with something to say that is direct. I usually come up with things like, "Nice toilet you have there." or "HEY!"

I am in love with this...

http://www.bugunderglass.blogspot.com/

...and am so sad I didn't think of it first...except...I don't actually want to touch the beetles that I own.

Weekend of Firsts

1) I couldn't stand it any more. I ordered Howard TV. This is a premium channel that is accessed via On Demand and is all Howard Stern, unsensored and awesome. It runs bits from his radio show (which is filmed in it's entirety) like interviews with famous people, chicks on the sybian, anal ring toss (heh), bits of his show that benefit from being on TV etc. It's similar to the E! show but, since it's cable and you can only access it if you pay for it, nothing is off limits. Yesterday I watched a 76 minute bit of Artie Lange (who was in studio) getting into a fight with Andrew Dice Clay (who called in). I know. I can't believe I watched the whole thing either. THAT is the magic of Howard.

2) Did you see the Blue Angels? No, I didn't but I sure appreciated them blowing out the windows in my house as they banked their turns over my neighborhood all afternoon. Honestly, I thought Shy Kitty was gonna have a heart attack. It wasn't so bad most of time except for one moment when I was out my back deck reading. It started with a distant jet engine sound, followed by a high pitch mechanical scream that just kept getting closer and closer and really sounded like it was a jet that was about to crash about 50 feet away from me. And then this weird thing happened. As I looked up to the sky to try and pin point the location of the jet, my hand went to mouth and my knees drew to my chest so I was scrunched up in my chair and my body started to involuntarily shake. It was the weirdest thing. I mean. I was scared shitless and it was not anything I could control. Logically, I knew the jet was not crashing in my backyard and that I was not in any danger but my body felt otherwise. After the sound dissipated, I remember saying out loud, "That's just not right." My ears were ringing, my head hurt and my eardrums hurt too. That's definitely NOT right. I then started to think that THAT is probably what it sounds like when your country is in a war.

3) Do you guys remember Other Stray Kitty? (aka OSK) He came to my backyard about the same time Eduardo did last year. (FYI, Eduardo turned out not to be a stray and his name actually turned out to be Baby Kitty. No wonder he hung around me and my neighbor so much. We gave him a much better name). Anyways, I had some inkling that Eduardo wasn't really a stray but I knew that OSK was very much so. He slinked around with his tail between his legs and his pelvis low to the ground, the other cats harrassed him, if left food he would eat asap and run away and he took off whenever I came out into the yard. It's been over a year since I met him and yesterday after the Blue Angel attack, he came into the yard and kinda sat in the grass. I got up and poured him a bowl of food and he started to run off when I came down the steps to put it near him. Then he came back and started to chow. He was really, really hungry and ate most of the food so I went in to get some more and as I came out I shook the bowl and he didn't run away. He let me put the food down in front of him and as I reached to see if I could pet him, I ran my hand along his back, he raised his butt up (like all kitties) and his tail was all wagging. Hmm. He also let me sit on the bottom step without him running away and would periodically, between bites, look up and move his head towards me so I could pet him! Then he couldn't stop himself. He was besides himself with kitty happiness' and just wanted me to pet and pet and pet. He even climbed up into my lap and curled up and kept raising and laying down his head as if he was sighing and saying, I can't believe I am getting some lovin'. He was such a purr machine too and it really broke my heart to know that obviously he was someone's pet once and here he is living outside all alone and kitties really need to cuddle and be petted for their mental health and he has no one to do this for him. It makes me so sad. So we sat outside together and he sat on my lap for an hour while I just petted and petted him and he probably woulda stayed there all night if I didn't need to go inside. That poor boy. He is so friendly and loving. I gave him some flea medicine because I am sure he has some issues. I hope we'll get to hang out again.

No Poop

No Poop, originally uploaded by hezcatt.

I love that this poster has recently been posted in my neighborhood (that's sarcasm folks). The poster is entitled "Our Neighborhood: What We Do Matters." (Also included are stick figures breaking bottles and littering.) Hmmm, I don't think that the people who are doing the pooping actually live in my neighborhood. I don't know what I would do if I was heading out on my way to work or something and my nextdoor neighbor was pooping on the sidewalk. Heh.